One of abortion’s unseen (and unacknowledged) consequences is exactly what you have experienced: deep regret and guilt over what happened.
Tragically, however, sometimes a far different consequence takes place: spiritual and emotional insensitivity to what happened. This, I fear, is the reaction of far too many in our society today. The reason is because we have become centered only on ourselves and what we want, rather than on God and His will for our lives (and the lives of our children, both born and unborn). The Bible warns, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness” (Isaiah 5:20).
What you did was wrong in God’s eyes—but He has not rejected you or abandoned you. He loves you, just as He loved the child that was growing in your womb (and is now, I am confident, safely in His presence). Furthermore, when Christ died on the cross, all your sins—without exception—were transferred to Him, and He took upon Himself the judgment you deserved. As the Bible says, “He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 2:2).
Accept God’s gift of forgiveness today, by turning to Christ and by faith inviting Him to come into your life. Then believe that His promise of forgiveness is true, and that someday you will go to be with Him forever. In addition, ask Him to help you reach out to others whose hearts and minds have been scarred, as yours has been.