By   •   August 26, 2014   •   Topics:


I work with a woman who just never seems to be happy. I've tried to be a friend to her, and she doesn't seem to have any more problems than the rest of us, but she's never cheerful or optimistic. Are some people just born unhappy?


We all have different personalities, and some people do seem to have a natural bent toward unhappiness (just as some have a natural bent toward happiness and optimism). Sometimes the reasons are obvious (an unhappy childhood, for example) but often they aren’t.

I’m thankful, however, that you’ve made an effort to be this woman’s friend, because I suspect she may not have many friends. (After all, who wants to be around a gloomy, negative person all the time?) As part of this, ask God to help you be a patient and good listener — and also a wise advisor and encourager. You may find, for example, that she has a very negative view of herself and feels she’s worthless, and you can help her realize it isn’t true. The Bible says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11, NKJV).

The most important thing you can do, however, is to help her see herself the way God sees her. God loves her just as she is; He loves her so much that His Son gave His life so she could become part of His family forever. The Bible says, “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world” (1 John 4:9).

Then pray for her, not only that she’ll become a more cheerful person, but also that she’ll turn her life over to Christ. And if you’ve never made Him the center of your life, do so today.

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  1. Rosey says:

    Unless you have experienced the awful disease of depression, you will never understand (without God’s help) what we go through. I lived in terror throughout my childhood due to a very dysfunctional family, bullied at school, and as an adult lost everything due to trusting people I shouldn’t have. My Christmas: No cards, gifts, nice dinners, lights, decorations or parties. This is my reality as well as the reality of many.

    1. Christy says:

      2 Corinthians 1:3 & 4
      Tells us to comfort others with the comfort that we ourselves have been comforted by God.

  2. Dorothy syovinya says:

    Great piece. Thank you for the insight… God bless you loads!

  3. Teresa says:

    I too suffer from anxiety and depression. Recently, I started therapy. I have a great family and church family, but not many close friends. I am learning that I have such a negative impression of myself that I don’t want to let anyone get close. My therapist said that people only want to experience the good emotions such as joy, happiness, but we can also get alot out of sadness and anger. It’s ok to cry, just like it’s ok to laugh at things. This is how we grow and overcome them, by going through them! I’m still working on it everyday, but I know God can take me through it.

  4. Timothy says:

    Quite encouraging. I will share it with Mum, who is depressed and it seems to be taking a toll on her. Pray for her – Jacinta.

  5. Debbie Edwards says:

    I too battle depression. I am learning to see myself the way God sees me. I feel sad when I see posts that people should avoid other people who are negative or downers so they aren’t dragged down by us. Even when I type my name (Debbie) to text a suggested follow up word is downer. Hard to see. Encouraging words and actions can help us.

  6. Adela says:

    Pray for relief from pain. I hurt all over. I have fibromaylgia. I have more bad days then good days.