By   •   November 14, 2012   •   Topics: ,


I know the Bible says somewhere that we ought to honor our parents, but how can you do that when they've hurt you and even said they don't want anything more to do with you? I want to do what's right, but I'm not sure what it means in my case.


You are actually referring to one of the Ten Commandments, which were given by God to provide us with a moral and spiritual foundation for our lives. One of the commandments says, “Honor your father and your mother… that it may go well with you” (Deuteronomy 5:16).

To honor someone means to treat them with respect—not necessarily because they are perfect, but because God has given them a unique place in your life. You only have one father and mother, and in spite of their faults, God gave them to you—and He gave you to them. No one else (except your siblings) has this relationship with them, and you should respect them because of it.

Pray for your parents; prayer is one of the best ways to honor them. In addition, do what you can to hold the door open to reconciliation. Don’t hold on to resentment, anger or bitterness; they’ll only hurt you. If you need to seek forgiveness for anything you did wrong, do so. The Bible says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).

Does this mean you overlook their faults or pretend your parents are different than they really are? No, of course not. But it does mean you do everything you can to let them know you are thankful they brought you into the world, and you care what happens to them. Thanksgiving would be a good time to express this.

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  1. James Keith says:

    I love my sons very much and always have tried to show them that I cared for them, but something happened between us that had turned them to hate me. LORD I wish I knew what it was. I want to be in their lives and my grandchildren’s lives.

  2. Art R Zimmer says:

    This is very well-spoken.

  3. Elois says:

    I love my mother, she was a strong strict Christian woman. We were very close. I ask God to please forgive me for anything I did to offend her she past and I was in heavy addiction. Today I feel as God have forgiven me. I thank Him. Keep my family in prayer esp the ones who suffer from mental illness. I been trying to bring my family together; it is not working they only concern about what can you do 4 me. Things will get better in God’s Timing. Thanks for the above article it let me know I am not the only one who have severe family problems.

    1. Lisa H says:

      I too am going through a bad time with my family, especially my mom. She has hurt me tremendously because of her addiction, and even though she has recovered, it still hurts. I ended up letting her know how much she hurt my brother and I and didn’t do it in a calm way but more in a hurtful way, and now I feel bad that I did but I don’t feel bad for finally letting that go and finally letting her know how I really felt. We don’t communicate anymore because of that incident but I am trying to reconcile.