See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. –1 John 3:1a, ESV
Brian Yak was 24 years old the first time he met his biological father, at a Chili’s in Jacksonville, Florida.
It was not what you’d call a “made-for-TV” moment.
“It was a mess,” Brian said, explaining that his birth father was struggling with drug and alcohol addiction.
“On my end, there was this emotional significance to the experience, and it wasn’t reciprocated. Not the emotional response I’d expect from someone who abandoned me—who didn’t come to my football games or see me play guitar.”
Brian had been raised in a loving home, officially adopted by his mother’s husband (as Brian jokes, preventing him from “literally becoming the red-headed stepchild”). But that day at the restaurant, as he looked across the table at the seemingly indifferent man before him, Brian felt a surge of heartache.
“That was really hard,” he said. “Those feelings of abandonment and disappointment kind of kept churning.”
Less than two years later, when Brian said “I do” to his wife, Christa, he stood amazed that God had led him to someone who also knew the pain of losing her earthly father, though the circumstances were very different.
Christa’s dad died from a brain tumor about a month after receiving the diagnosis, when Christa was 7 years old.
“I grew up without an earthly dad in the picture,” she said. “As I got older, I started to understand that loss. I realized there wasn’t a man there who could tell me that he loves me or that I’m worthy or that I’m beautiful.”
Having met while studying music at Nashville’s Belmont University, Brian and Christa knew they wanted to pursue a musical career. When they stood back and looked closer at the common thread in each of their stories, the band For the Fatherless was born.
“It’s been something special to sing songs together,” Brian said after he and Christa led worship at Billy Graham Evangelistic Association’s Charlotte headquarters last week.
“I never would have thought God would have led me to a wife who also dealt with the loss of her earthy father,” he said. “That’s not a coincidence. God did that.”
Now worship leaders at The Chapel in Buffalo, New York, Brian and Christa recently released their first album. It’s full of music that points to God’s character.
“My favorite verse has always been Psalm 68:5,” Christa said. “It says, ‘Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling.’ That’s stuck with me my whole life.
“He’s a perfect Father. He’s unchanging. He’s loving. I don’t have to walk through life feeling fatherless or feeling that emptiness, because God fills it.”
That same realization struck Brian as he worked through the hurt caused by his birth father’s absence.
In fact, that uncomfortable day at Chili’s, Brian sensed God nudging him to forgive. He knew Jesus had forgiven much more when He allowed himself to be brutally killed before he was raised to life.
“I did manage to look him in the eye and tell him I forgave him,” Brian said, and while that relationship is still difficult to navigate, he knows his real Father will never let him down.
“I’d just encourage anyone who hasn’t had the dad they’ve hoped for—or should have had or deserved—to look towards their Heavenly Father,” Christa said.
“Because He calls you a child and calls you His own. He knows you by name, and He’s there. He’s ready for you.”
Are you looking for the kind of love Brian and Christa found? You can have peace with God today.
