One reason I wanted to reprint your email is because it points to a common problem in troubled marriages: a failure to face the real reason why the marriage is in difficulty. Unless a husband and wife face honestly their real problems and work together to resolve them, the deeper issues still remain and the marriage will still be in trouble.

Is divorce the only solution? No, it isn’t, and my prayer is that you will explore every other solution before you go down that road. God gave marriage to us, and He knows not only the joy it can bring us, but the anguish and hardship that inevitably come when the bond of marriage is broken. This is why I urge both you and your husband to humbly ask God to give you the wisdom and patience you need to look at your lives through His eyes.

Have you ever honestly asked yourself what the basic problem is in your relationship? You probably could make a fairly long list—but beneath them all, I suspect, is the fact that you each want your own way. When two people demand their own way—trying to control the other person and refusing to compromise—the result is always conflict.

Open your lives and your marriage to Jesus Christ. Ask Him to take away your self-centeredness, and to learn to live for each other’s good. The Bible says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Invite Christ into your life.