Carlos just wanted to die.
Within a few months, he had lost his wife, his job, the relationship with his children—and even his pastoral ministry. Although he once had a strong relationship with Jesus Christ, the bitterness of these losses had led him into a dark pit of depression.
Seeing no reason to go on living, he dragged a 15-kg propane gas tank into his bedroom and locked himself in his home in the remote town of Rancagua, Chile. He shut all the windows and doors, closed the curtains, and lay down beside the tank.
“I told myself, ‘When I feel that I’m falling asleep, then I’m going to open the gas and I’m going to pass in my sleep,’” Carlos shared.
Everything should have gone according to his plan, but it didn’t. He couldn’t fall asleep.
“Three days went by, and I couldn’t sleep. Not at all, in three days,” he remembers. “So I said, ‘God, what do you want from me?’”
He grabbed his phone and started scrolling, passing from one app to another. Suddenly he found himself watching a video that mentioned PazConDios.net, the Spanish website of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association’s internet ministry, Search for Jesus.
Intrigued, he clicked on the link and found an option to chat with a person. He began a conversation with Laura, a volunteer who serves from her hometown of Querétaro in Mexico.
Carlos told Laura about his depression and described the details of his current situation. Laura assured him that God loves him and has a purpose for his life.
Immediately, Laura sent a “red flag” notification to the prayer volunteers of the international ministry. Dozens of volunteers scattered around the world began to pray for Carlos.
When Juan Manuel Caro, a regional manager with Search for Jesus, received a notification about this case, he knew he had to do something. He lives in Santiago, the capital city of Chile, and though he was many hours away from Carlos, he wanted to contact him.
“We talked over the phone every day during the first days, and I just continued to encourage him,” said Caro. “At first, pastor Carlos was still very negative, speaking from his pain and disappointment. But with time, we developed a friendship, and I was able to see how God was slowly rebuilding his hope.”
After the two developed a relationship, Caro asked pastor Carlos if he would like some local pastors to visit him in his house, and he accepted.
“Having these visitors come to his house to encourage him and pray with him, we think that really made a huge difference,” said Caro.
“When you go through something like that—wanting to take your life, not wanting to listen to anyone—and God shows up in this way, that for me is what it means to be born again,” shared Carlos. “God restored my life and now I know that He really loves me.”
Like Carlos, thousands of other people have had a life-changing experience through the ministry of Search for Jesus.
“This ministry represents a unique opportunity for people to find hope,” shared Caro. “In a world where there is no hope, the Gospel is their only hope and the door to salvation.”
“We don’t give people self-help advice,” he said. “We lead them to the ultimate truth, which is the Gospel of Jesus, and we connect them to a local church.”
Time has passed since Carlos’ lowest point, and his life has made a turn for the best. Now he has a great desire to live—and to encourage others who might be experiencing depression like he did once.
“Ask God to put the right person in front of you,” he encourages people. “God did not make a mistake in bringing you into the world. On the contrary, God rejoices in your life.”
Would you like to be used by God as a volunteer with Search for Jesus? Find out more.
