One of the hardest experiences any of us will ever face in life is losing someone we dearly love—and I know it’s especially hard when death comes unexpectedly and we have no opportunity to say a final goodbye.

Perhaps the most important thing I can say to you is that God loves you and understands what you’re going through. When Jesus stood by the tomb of His friend Lazarus, He knew that shortly He would bring Lazarus back to life—but the Bible still says that “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). This is the shortest verse in the Bible, but it reveals a great truth about Christ’s compassion for those who grieve. The Bible says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail” (Lamentations 3:22).

You will always remember your husband, and your grief over his death won’t go away quickly. But in time, your pain will lessen—and God wants to help you in this process. What can you do? First, take time each day to thank God for the years you had together. Thankfulness is like a healing balm to our souls.

Then ask God to help you reach out to others who are grieving. They need your encouragement—and you need theirs. Most of all, don’t carry your burden alone but hand it over to Christ. The Bible says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall” (Psalm 55:22).