Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to, and I can understand your frustration. But listen: God has not abandoned you, and these could turn out to be the best years of your life—if you let them.
Let me explain it this way. Elsewhere in your letter you admit that God has never been a major part of your life; in your words, He’s only been “on the fringes.” This leads me to ask you a question: If you had been able to carry out your plans for your retirement, would God have stayed on the fringes? I suspect so—because you’d have gone on living your life the way you always have, and you’d never have felt any need for God. And that means you would have entered eternity unprepared to meet God.
But now God is forcing you to face your limitations—including your need for Him. In other words, you are at a fork in the road (so to speak)—and the question is, which way will you go? Will you continue to leave God out of your life? Or will you open your heart and life to Christ’s love and presence?
You need God; you need Him now more than ever. Don’t ignore Him any longer, but turn to Jesus Christ and commit your life and your future to Him. Your life will never be the same. God’s warning is for you: “How shall we escape if we ignore so great a salvation?” (Hebrews 2:3).