Answers

By   •   February 16, 2012   •   Topics:

Q:

I know God has forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself for some of the things I've done, and the way I've hurt some of my family. All I can think about is what a bad person I've been. I even wonder sometimes if God hasn't forgiven me after all.


A:

If you have honestly committed your life to Jesus Christ and are trusting Him alone for your salvation, then the Bible says that God has forgiven you — fully and freely. You have been adopted into His family, and nothing can ever change that. The Bible says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

Don’t trust your feelings; they aren’t dependable and will only lead you astray. Instead, trust Christ and what He has done for you by His death on the cross and His resurrection from the dead. Trust, too, in God’s promises to you — because God cannot lie, and He has promised to forgive and save all who come to Christ by faith.

In addition, ask God to help you forgive yourself. The memory of what you did in the past condemns you — but it condemns you falsely, because Jesus Christ gave His life for all those sins. The Bible says, “We set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts” (1 John 3:19-20). If God has forgiven you, shouldn’t you also forgive yourself?

Thank God for His forgiveness — and then ask Him to free you from the past. In addition, if possible go back to those you hurt, and let them know you regret what you did and you hope they’ll forgive you — even as Christ has forgiven you.

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35 Comments

  1. John says:

    I know God forgives me, but that doesn’t change the hurt I’ve caused.

  2. Steve says:

    I feel like such a creep for treating my stepson badly. He’s grown up now, and we got into horrible argument, and he really put me in my place. He told me that I meant nothing to him, and I don’t blame him.

  3. Melinda says:

    I need help forgiving myself and pray that my husband forgives me

  4. Tamera says:

    I left my husband and kids when they were 12, 14, and 16. That was 18 years ago. I know that God has forgiven me but I have watched my kids really struggle even as adults. I grieve deeply and pray continually that God would heal them and me so I can be an excellent mother. It just hurts so bad watching them struggle. I wish I could go back. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through any better but I would stay. I think up stupid stuff like if I had to have all my limbs amputated just to go back and love them better I would. Even if I had to die today I would go back to day one and fill them with so much love. I just didn’t know how.

    1. D says:

      Tamara, My story is similar to yours. I also have seen my grown kids struggle which could have been prevented if I was a good mother. It hurts to see them struggle and make mistakes because I was not there to guide them. I wish I can go back to day one and I thought of doing stupid stuff also. And I hate to be me because of what I did. But I know our Heavenly Father has a plan for us and all our kids. I just find it hard to move forward because 2 of my 3 kids haven’t forgiven me yet. I grieve deeply too. I hope you and others going through this have a better relationship with their children.

  5. Paula says:

    I know for sure that I was forgiven but I can’t forgive myself. I’m constantly putting myself down for the things that I done. When things in my life are not going good I think to myself that I deserve my struggles and to not be able to have good things. Please pray for me for this is really effecting my life.

  6. Davvid says:

    I appreciate your words of encouragement. I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I gave my life to him many years ago but am struggling with recent sin. I struggle with forgiving myself. I have rededicated my life. I need help with this. I know Christ forgave me but my sin haunts me still.

  7. Steve says:

    I feel like the lonelyest man in the world my sins have separated me from any true friendship with anyone. Reading the answer to my question doesn’t help me even though I understand it I read I have I retrobate mind. Now what do I do?

  8. Paula Henry says:

    Thank you. I think not forgiving myself has doubted by my carnal mind. Thank you Jesus.

  9. adebayo says:

    I am guilty for what I have done to my brother but I don’t intentionally do it. And my heart is overwhelmed of thoughts my conscious is judging me