Answers

By   •   November 1, 2012   •   Topics: ,

Q:

Does the Bible say a husband and wife must go to the same church? We can't agree where to go, and the simplest thing would be for us to go to different churches. Would this be wrong?


A:

The Bible doesn’t say anything directly about this; the problem didn’t arise because Christians were few in number in those days, and they knew they needed to draw strength from each other.

If it’s at all possible, however, I certainly urge couples to attend the same church. Not only will it help them grow closer to each other and to God, but it will help their children learn about Jesus. Although my wife and I came from different denominations, we happily attended the same church in our small community.

However, I know it’s not always possible for couples to agree on this, and rather than cause discord, on rare occasions it may be better to take the path you’ve suggested. However, don’t do it casually or simply because it’s easy. Pray together about it, and ask God to guide you and help you know His will.

Don’t judge any church too quickly, but ask God to guide you to one where the Bible is preached and taught, and you can have fellowship with other believers. In addition, think through what you really need in a church. Do you simply want a church that reminds you of the one you grew up in? Or are you honestly seeking a church where you can grow in your faith, and you can serve Christ?

Above all, put Jesus Christ at the center of your lives — as individuals and as a family. When our lives are centered in Him, disagreements begin to fade. Remember the Bible’s admonition: “Let us not give up meeting together… but let us encourage one another” (Hebrews 10:25).

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32 Comments

  1. Tori Byrd says:

    We speak a two different languages. I’m an American and my wife is Korean. We have been married for over 30 years. Her English speaking is at a grade level. So, I am able to communicate with her easily. We also read from the same Bible, pray, and at times study the Word together. However, a Pastor preaching, talking at a higher language level, my wife will not understand all that is being said. So we are both devoted Christians going to a different church. Would the Lord accept this?

  2. Lynne says:

    My husband & I were going to the same church. Then 5 years ago he left the church and started attending another church. He confessed to me and others that he knows God wants him at the church I attend. I am still attending the church he left because I know God wants me there. This really bothers me a lot. I feel hurt & “abandoned” by him. I believe he is in rebellion to God. What can I do and say to get him to come back to the church I attend? Please help me. Also it doesn’t help that a lot of people think I’m in the wrong just because I’m the wife and women are supposed to submit. Never once has he told me to come to his church. So I know that he knows he is in the wrong.

  3. Victoria says:

    I was once a Jehovah’s witness with my husband till the day i received Christ in my life. I left Jehovah’s witness to Deeper life Bible church. And now my husband wants to send me packing because of my faith in the Lord, asking me to go back to a witness which I refused. Is it disobedient?

    1. Justin says:

      Victoria,
      As a man going into ministry, I can give you the following biblical advice: 2 Corinthians 6 discusses being yoked with unbelievers. As you now know, Jesus is God, and JW’s don’t believe that, therefore, they are unbelievers. God calls you to “come out and be separate” from those who are unbelievers. In your context, that means you are not to return back to kingdom hall. You are not being disobedient by pursuing the correct faith. You are not expected to submit to your husband spiritually because he is not submitted to Christ. Make sure your church has sound biblical doctrine and pray for your husband to come to the truth. Do whatever you can to avoid divorce and don’t give up on the power of prayer! Invite him to church.