Answers

By   •   November 1, 2012   •   Topics: ,

Q:

Does the Bible say a husband and wife must go to the same church? We can't agree where to go, and the simplest thing would be for us to go to different churches. Would this be wrong?


A:

The Bible doesn’t say anything directly about this; the problem didn’t arise because Christians were few in number in those days, and they knew they needed to draw strength from each other.

If it’s at all possible, however, I certainly urge couples to attend the same church. Not only will it help them grow closer to each other and to God, but it will help their children learn about Jesus. Although my wife and I came from different denominations, we happily attended the same church in our small community.

However, I know it’s not always possible for couples to agree on this, and rather than cause discord, on rare occasions it may be better to take the path you’ve suggested. However, don’t do it casually or simply because it’s easy. Pray together about it, and ask God to guide you and help you know His will.

Don’t judge any church too quickly, but ask God to guide you to one where the Bible is preached and taught, and you can have fellowship with other believers. In addition, think through what you really need in a church. Do you simply want a church that reminds you of the one you grew up in? Or are you honestly seeking a church where you can grow in your faith, and you can serve Christ?

Above all, put Jesus Christ at the center of your lives — as individuals and as a family. When our lives are centered in Him, disagreements begin to fade. Remember the Bible’s admonition: “Let us not give up meeting together… but let us encourage one another” (Hebrews 10:25).

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22 Comments

  1. Ken C says:

    I don’t want to attend Church with my wife. She is always negative towards me when I would like to get involved in ministry. Recently I ask about getting involved in children’s ministry, She got mad because I can’t do youth ministry with my children due to work. She is just so negative what should I do. Scripture please?

  2. Kofi says:

    My wife agreed and accepted to join the Catholic Church before we had our matrimony. We all worshiped together in the Catholic Church until we had all our children. Then she started questioning the Communion and other doctrines of the church. For the sake of peace I agreed that she can go back to her Presbyterian Church. Initially she took all the children with her till I insisted that the children follow me to Catholic Church.
    The issue of the two of us attending different churches is bringing so much tension in the house and I am getting worried.
    Is there anything wrong with the Catholic Church and the Eucharist?

  3. Rick says:

    My wife and I go to different churches. We have two kids and sometimes they go to church with her and sometimes they go with me. I would really like for us to go as a family but she refuses to leave her church. I really miss going to church as a family.

  4. Jeanetteivy says:

    I was attending my own church before i married him. He use to go there too but left becaue his nephew became pastor at a church. I do visit his church. It’s ok but i find it boring. The service is dead and lukewarm. No life there..no joy..no spirit. Do i have to leave my church just cause he now attends this snooze fest of a congregation. All members are 60’s and 70 yr olds. Maybe thats why. Maybe they’re taking a nap

    1. g says:

      If the congregation were mostly young people, would the service be conducted any differently? You sound a bit rude, to be honest. Perhaps it’s not that the congregation is old and boring-perhaps it’s that you are young and immature. Try actually listening to what the pastor is saying, instead of being so judgmental about the congregation simply because many of them are old.

  5. hudson mwila says:

    Really it’s confusion of going separate ways. My wife don’t like the church i go to. Have asked to look for a church where we will start afresh but she is not of the idea.

  6. Lin says:

    My husband and I have been members of a church for over 10 years. I have seen clearly that things there have not been taught according to the Bible and it bothered me so I started going to another church and want to serve and work with children, however, if so, they need me to be a member. I so want to but I feel a pull that my husband and I need to worship together. He sees what’s going on at his church but won’t leave. I don’t want to join this present church without him. I was going to join one Sunday but changed my mind. I want to join but I get extremely anxious about it each time I think I’m going to. What is going on with me? Is it the devil fighting against it or is this the Holy Spirit telling me to wait?

    1. BGEA says:

      Hi Lin,

      Here is an article that may help you.

    2. BGEA says:

      Hi Lin,

      Here is an article that may help you. http://billygraham.org/answer/hard-time-choosing-a-church/

  7. Yusuf Chester says:

    That answer helped me out alot. Thank you and bless you