This is not the way God meant for marriage to be, and what your former husband did was not only selfish and cruel, but also wrong in the eyes of God. Perhaps we’re living in the days of which the Bible speaks, when “People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive … ungrateful, unholy, without love” (2 Timothy 3:2-3).

Even if he thinks he’s found true happiness, someday his selfishness will catch up with him. After all, when we are concerned only for ourselves, we can’t really love others the way we should—nor will they truly love us. In other words, a marriage built on a foundation of mutual selfishness will never be secure.

In fact, as I read your letter I couldn’t help but wonder what might happen if his cancer returns. Will his wife care for him? Or will she move on to someone else? The Bible warns, “You may be sure that your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23). I hope this will be a warning to anyone who is tempted to follow the path your husband took.

Above all, don’t let your hurts consume you—which they will, if you let them. Instead, turn to Christ and ask Him to help you leave the past behind and face the future with hope. He loves you, and you are never alone when you know Christ.