Not quite a year ago, Victoria (Texas) Police Officer Dennis Paine was involved in an incident that could have turned ugly. Dennis and his fellow officers were talking with some men suspected of drug activity. They chatted for four hours at a house, served a search warrant and procured a bunch of drugs when Dennis noticed one of the guys getting shifty.
“The guy sticks his hand in his pants trying not to make it noticeable that he’s moving, but I’m watching him,” Dennis shared during a break at this week’s National Law Enforcement Retreat in Horseshoe Bay, Texas. “We go to hook him up in handcuffs and he had a loaded .38 [caliber handgun] in his pants. It was scary.”
“When he told me that, I was like, ‘Thank God that He was with you,’” said Dennis’ wife Kelley.
Since then, the young couple has realized how rare it is for officers to share stories like that at home.
For five years now, the Billy Graham Rapid Response Team has hosted National Law Enforcement Retreats to provide emotional and spiritual care to officers. Speakers at this week’s retreat in Texas urged officers to do more of what Dennis did: share your work life with your spouse.
“If you will just let your guard down for three days and realize the one important truth that you are human,” speaker and Charlotte-Mecklenburg (N.C.) Police Detective Stephen Parker shared during the opening night. “We as cops cannot coexist with trauma and expect it not to destroy us.”
>>Find peace in this upside-down world.
Spouses also have a responsibility, chaplain Allison Uribe told a crowd of 180 that included 70-some couples. A police wife herself, she urged the spouses not to let the understandable angst and emotion that comes with being married to a law enforcement official control their minds and hearts.
“We need to let [our emotions] go and worry about what this says,” Uribe said, holding up an open Bible. “This will cover those lies that you are being told. This is how you do it. So when they ask you, ‘How do you do it? You’re married to a police officer.’ Say, ‘I take God’s Word by the hand and I cling to it.’ This will be your battle cry.”
Uribe, the wife of a San Antonio, Texas, police officer, ended her session by inviting spouses to come forward and start seeking God together. Women poured forward as Uribe said, “Something powerful happens when we join hands in Jesus’ name. Let’s start our battle cry.”
The worship band played Michael W. Smith’s “Surrounded,” repeating the lyrics This is how I fight my battles over and over. Some women cried, others prayed and a few lifted their joined hands high in a unified cry to the Lord.
“It was nice because it was like I’m not alone,” said Morgan Faulk, just days away from delivering her third child. Morgan attended the conference with her husband Alex, a police officer in Benton, Louisiana. “I know they go through what I go through. We all have a different story and just being there around all of the women was comforting. We’re all holding hands, and it was like a sisterhood in a way.”
Uribe spoke to the spouses, while Sgt. Roy Lisath delivered a powerful message directly toward the officers themselves. Lisath, who has been sharing God’s Word since he was a teenager, served as a law enforcement official in Ohio for decades. Today he’s the acting bureau chief of the Columbus Police Department and oversees its chaplaincy program.
“We should not fret over the turmoil we see in the world as we are citizens of an unshakeable kingdom,” Lisath said. “Chaos can only exist where authority has not been established. You are authority. You are dispatched to chaos. Every run you go on, there’s a chaotic situation and when you go, you bring the authority necessary to bring the chaos into order.
“I believe God has called you to anoint you to go reach the world because you can go into places that no one else can go.”
Author Adam Davis, a former police officer in Alabama, nodded in agreement as Lisath explained how he believes God ultimately will use willing law enforcement officials to make a difference. He added this retreat offered the perfect opportunity for connection.
“I think it’s important to realize that we are in this together,” said Davis, who attended with his wife Amber. “That there are other couples who are often dealing with the very same things that we’re dealing with, and the enemy wants you isolated and this exposes. It’s good to make these relationships and build these relationships so when you are in a time of need you can say this is where we’re at. But being able to expose different battles everybody else is going through—it’s important to understand we’re not here alone.”
That message, stressed during this week’s retreat, initially was made clear to the Paines at last year’s event. Recently, a friend of theirs was involved in a non-fatal shooting, so they reached out to Michael McSellers, a Virginia state trooper who spoke during the 2018 retreat. They asked for prayer.
Kelley Paine remembers putting McSellers on speaker phone in the middle of their living room and together, the three of them prayed for the entire situation.
“It’s great because if there’s something that comes up that we don’t know how to handle, we can reach out to somebody,” Kelley said. “But not a lot of people have that. Coming to this, you meet those connections and you build friendships.”
“It’s like a support system,” Dennis added.
“You literally have a support system when you didn’t before,” Kelley said. “You’re meeting other people that have the same career and same path and they’ve been in your shoes. They know how to pray you through it. That’s the connection.”
