Mother’s Day can be tough for women who have experienced a miscarriage. Maybe that’s why you’re here reading this now. Maybe this day brings with it the memory of a precious life lost, and, whether that was last week or last decade, you’re struggling. You aren’t sure where to turn.
Would you believe God loves you? He does. And He hasn’t abandoned you.
We pray you will draw encouragement from the following Biblical truths, shared by Sandy Day from Caleb Ministries. She has walked the hard road of losing a baby, but she has also experienced—and ultimately embraced—the power of God’s healing love. Today, she shares that with other women through the ministry started in her late son’s honor.
“When I look at Mother’s Day now, it’s a joyful time to say, ‘Thank you, Lord, that I’ve worked through these things,’” Sandy said. “Now in years past, it wasn’t quite that way.”
Four powerful truths for the woman who has miscarried:
1. Nobody can thwart God’s plan. While it might not seem comprehensible in the midst of grief, latch onto the truth that He loves you and has a plan. Sandy couldn’t see the plan God had in her life at first when she miscarried at eight months pregnant, but over time, she realized the ministry God had for her and her husband.
Today, Caleb Ministries, named in honor of their late son, helps women dealing with the aftermath of loss.
“When I look back and think God used a baby that never breathed to start a ministry and this is what we would be doing with our lives, it’s beyond me,” Sandy said. “That’s really more now what brings me to tears.”
But grief was a very real part of her process. Sandy encourages women to focus their sorrow on God’s Word. Consider Job 42:2. There is nothing they could have done to stop God’s plan.
“This was part of God’s plan in your life to bring about God’s sanctification for you,” Sandy said. “Is it painful? It’s very painful. It’s not easy. But in Psalm 23, [it states] He walks with us through the valley, and that’s what He does.”
2. God can use even this painful experience to bring about good. Consider Romans 8:28, while realizing God never says every situation is good. “God never says it’s good, but He causes it to work together for good,” Sandy said, noting God uses pain, affliction and death to draw us into a closer relationship with Him. From that relationship, healing and then serving in His name is possible.
3. The hole in your heart will heal. But God has to do the healing. Psalm 18:6 declares, “In my distress, I called to the Lord, and cried out to my God. He heard my voice from His temple.” Cry out to Him openly, honestly. The Bible says He hears you, and Sandy points out, via Psalm 139, that He is not a far-off God. “He is ever so present in the midst of our suffering,” she said.
Be patient with yourself, Sandy also advises. “[Your heart] will mend. But this is the key: It won’t mend in the way that we think it will because God is doing His work in your heart and life.”
4. God’s loving grace is abundant for you, too. Sandy encourages women to live as a product of the finished work of the cross rather than a product of their past. It takes time, but, after turning her life over to Jesus, Sandy can’t imagine any other way today. “It’s just so freeing to understand not only what Christ did, but that we can truly live and walk in it.”
And try not to get sucked into the advertising mania surrounding Mother’s Day. That can turn your thoughts inward. Instead, lift your eyes higher. Of course, that doesn’t mean your emotions are invalid and should be ignored, but don’t let them dominate your thought life. Focus on the Lord instead.
“When we think about Mother’s Day, I think that we need to think about the Lord and His plan and His purpose for me, and not the fact of this is what happened,” Sandy said. “[Ask God], ‘How are You using this in my life, and how can I use it to help somebody else?’”