By   •   December 19, 2022   •   Topics:


My boyfriend and I are discussing marriage. We’ve known each other since grade school and are meant for each other. But he’s started dabbling in drugs that ignite his bad temper, taking it out on me. Because I love him, I’m committed to helping him overcome, and believe I can do this better as his wife. Wouldn’t this please God?


From the writings of the Rev. Billy Graham

Marriage is not a reform school. Many women believe that their mothering instincts extend to the men they marry. There’s a high probability that instead of wives reforming husbands, they will instead influence wives. Often breaking off a dating relationship will shake a man up enough to realize the seriousness of what he’s doing. Bad behavior is serious, not only in the eyes of the law but especially in the eyes of God. When anyone causes others to get involved in drugs or anything else that is dangerous or against the law, countless lives are affected in terrible ways.

Deciding to get married to help someone reform is not heeding the wisdom of God. There’s likely very little future in this kind of relationship. Deeper needs should be addressed in light of Scripture. God created marriage for the purpose of honoring Him in all things, and while this is difficult at times, it isn’t wise to start life together as husband and wife with unrepentant sin. Jesus wants His children to live in obedience to Him and experience true peace that comes from living right before Him.

Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). We shouldn’t settle for anything but God’s best. Follow the Lord Jesus according to His Word. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5–6).

(This column is based on the words and writings of the late Rev. Billy Graham.)

Searching for answers? Find them in Christ.