By   •   January 29, 2014   •   Topics: , ,


My fiancé and I got engaged several months ago, but I've discovered he gets upset when he doesn't get his way. Sometimes he's even gotten very angry and fairly violent, although he always apologizes and says it won't happen again. Should I be concerned?


Yes, you definitely should be concerned about this. After all, if your fiancé can’t control his temper now, what reason do you have for thinking he’ll be able to control it once you’re married?

However, it isn’t just a question of being able to control his temper (although that’s very serious, as anyone caught in an abusive marriage could tell you). From what you say, he always wants his own way, and that doesn’t hold much promise for a happy marriage. In other words, instead of taking your feelings and desires into account, he’s only concerned about himself and his desires.

But that kind of self-centered, ‘me-first’ attitude is the opposite of true love. True love puts the other person first, and seeks to be sensitive to their needs and desires. This is the kind of love Christ has for us, and it’s the kind of love He wants us to have for others. The Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind…. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

The most important advice I can give you, however, is to seek God’s will for your future. Put your life into Christ’s hands, and then trust Him to guide you and help you make right decisions. If it’s His will for you to marry (as it probably is), then trust Him to lead you to the man He has chosen for you, one who will love you and be your spiritual partner throughout life.

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  1. T. Michelle Roach says:

    I agree with the feedback from the question, no Christian who truly loves like our “Father” will have selfish love. For God so love the world that He gave his only begotten Son and who so ever believe in Him will have everlasting life. Pray to our Father and wait on the Lord…..

  2. kendra says:


  3. Betty says:

    I’ve been married to a man who is a angry and selfish alcoholic, now for 40 years. It’s been a lonely and hard road. To anyone who notices these things before marriage, I say flee! before it’s too late.