Answers

By   •   January 29, 2014   •   Topics: , ,

Q:

My fiancé and I got engaged several months ago, but I've discovered he gets upset when he doesn't get his way. Sometimes he's even gotten very angry and fairly violent, although he always apologizes and says it won't happen again. Should I be concerned?


A:

Yes, you definitely should be concerned about this. After all, if your fiancé can’t control his temper now, what reason do you have for thinking he’ll be able to control it once you’re married?

However, it isn’t just a question of being able to control his temper (although that’s very serious, as anyone caught in an abusive marriage could tell you). From what you say, he always wants his own way, and that doesn’t hold much promise for a happy marriage. In other words, instead of taking your feelings and desires into account, he’s only concerned about himself and his desires.

But that kind of self-centered, ‘me-first’ attitude is the opposite of true love. True love puts the other person first, and seeks to be sensitive to their needs and desires. This is the kind of love Christ has for us, and it’s the kind of love He wants us to have for others. The Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind…. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

The most important advice I can give you, however, is to seek God’s will for your future. Put your life into Christ’s hands, and then trust Him to guide you and help you make right decisions. If it’s His will for you to marry (as it probably is), then trust Him to lead you to the man He has chosen for you, one who will love you and be your spiritual partner throughout life.

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31 Comments

  1. reni mae says:

    Thank you.. I know Jesus let me discovered this kind of site. :)

  2. Ralph Sweet says:

    Thank You in advance for the updates. God Bless You

  3. Gloria McClure says:

    AMEN! Leave now-I know…

  4. Christine says:

    I have this experience. For about a year, my ex fiancé repeated just as your fiancé. I wanted to support him and renounce him to be a better man. But after all I realized that this work doesn’t belong to me; it belongs to God alone. I backslided while I was with him, I should confess here for you. Now I still remember all disasters when I was with him. But God has healed me and now the relationship became my testimony; I have got closer to God; my life has been changed much. I encourage you to put trust in God. God is good for everyone. God bless you.

  5. Eva says:

    This applies to all relationships.

  6. Sue Sillavan says:

    My husband and I were married for 35 yrs before his death. No one really believed that we never had a harsh disagreement. I was 27 and he 29 when we married, and being a christian long before marriage, taught us to have a discussion , not an argument. And if the discussion came to a disagreement, we stopped, and did some thing else and we then prayed about it before going to bed that day. And it was a choice and agreement to settle things this way. And the reason this was so successful , is we both admired the trust we had in each other, we recognized the spiritual side of each other, and we set an example for each other. We truly did the golden rule, I treated him the way I wanted to be treated and he did the same.

  7. T. Michelle Roach says:

    I agree with the feedback from the question, no Christian who truly loves like our “Father” will have selfish love. For God so love the world that He gave his only begotten Son and who so ever believe in Him will have everlasting life. Pray to our Father and wait on the Lord…..

  8. kendra says:

    Amen

  9. Betty says:

    I’ve been married to a man who is a angry and selfish alcoholic, now for 40 years. It’s been a lonely and hard road. To anyone who notices these things before marriage, I say flee! before it’s too late.