Letting God Handle the Impossible

By Ruth Bell Graham   •   June 30, 2011

Each man needs something a little bit different from what another man may need. Are you trying to adapt yourself to your husband and be the kind of wife he needs—not the kind you think he needs?

The best advice I ever heard given to a woman whose husband was not a Christian was: “Your business is not to make him good, but to make him happy!” It’s God’s business to make him good.

I heard a true story about a mother of five children. She had a militantly unbelieving husband who took great delight in criticizing his wife, making fun of her faith in front of the children and telling her faults before guests. He did everything he could to undermine her, and yet those children grew up to be dedicated Christian men and women.

Late in her life a friend who knew of the difficult situation asked the mother how she had managed to cope. She replied, “I made it a point never to argue with my husband and never to criticize him; and I made it a point, when I tucked the children in at night, to read to them from the Word of God and to pray with them.”

A wife has two God-given weapons— love: this includes ministering to your husband’s immediate needs; and prayer: keep your mouth shut and pray. We are to keep busy in our department and stay out of God’s. We are to take care of the possible and let God take care of the impossible.

Taken by permission from “Husbands, Children and God” by Ruth Bell Graham, originally published in Decision magazine, June 1967 ©1967 The Ruth Graham Literary Trust.

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  1. Celia says:

    We've been married almost 38 years. 32 years as a believer. Many years of heartache and ridicule toward me for my faith. Up until 9 years ago I was expecting my hubby to live like he was a christian, big mistake on my part. He wasn't and isn't. 9 years ago the Lord gently but firmly and repeatedly revealed to me that I needed to forgive my hubby for the pain the constant ridicule caused me. Was I shocked? YES!! Gently and steadily the Lord showed me I could do no less for my hubby than what He did for me at the cross. This has dramatically changed “my” attitude toward my hubby. The Lord has helped me to focus of his many good and endearing qualities. The last 9 years have been a blessing. It has taught me that my hubby's heart is God's business. Mine is to love him.

  2. Craig says:

    This is so good! thanks Ruth Such a good way to live- It is not our job to change everybody- just to love them. A wise friend of mine described it as 'we are not in the warranty department for God, we are in the service department.' I love that. Thanks again

  3. Cynthia says:

    I too gained direction and comfort from your writing. Thank you so much!

  4. annie says:

    I thank my Lord almighty for showing me this page, to show how wrong I was to correct my husband. Lord bless me from this moment to shut my mouth, and with love and prayer lead my family for thy glory.

  5. Jacyn says:

    Thank GOD for this page. I ask HIM, why you did match us as a couple? Because I was hurt a lot by his words. I have been going through the same life what the woman had in her life. Now really I feel good that HE will take care of my husband and make me a wife he needs Thank you very much Ruth Bell Graham

  6. Timothy says:

    I'm not a woman but this teaches me all the same. It is so inspirational and touching. This what we have always done to our beautiful and God given wives. God forgive us and give us a heart to understand. Glory be to God the most High. Lots of love from Kenya.

  7. Bambi says:

    My daughter is going through this. Her husband is a very cruel man and she fights back all the time. Which ends up in a lot of name calling and hitting in front of the kids. Their ages go from 16 yrs old down to 7 yrs old. It's tearing everyone apart. Lord, please watch over them and help them find peace. And please protect my grand kids from their parents choices.

  8. Janet says:

    This article came at just the right time. Have been discouraged, confused for many years as to what to do with my husband and his hidden agendas. I will do as Ruth has suggested…take care of the possible and let God take care of the impossible.Certainly enjoyed the other women's comments as well. They too were helpful and enlightening.

  9. Patricia says:

    I am so glad I read this advice, I have been struggling with what to do with my marriage. But only one thing that is bothering me my husband is on drugs and sometimes it is hard to keep quiet. But I will continue to love him and pray without ceasing. A nd especially Trust the Lord and know that He is in control. Thank You Mrs. Graham and God Bless You

  10. cheryl says:

    thank you Lord for this final message to come through with my daily morning prayer.usual the Lord wakes me up about 4am or 5am to start my thank you to Him because I have returned back home from allowing the world to control me knowing that I have been a child of God for a long time. Had been married to a wonderful God fearing man for 7 years but he too fell away from the Lord an sin has allowed to take whole of him. I have gone into depression and stress behind this because I will not follow him I will only follow the Lord? He has even argued with me when I have made comments about these sinners that he wants to be around? So now I pray and take the med's that my doctor gave me to make it through.