God is exactly where He always has been—loving you, watching over you, and taking care of you in the midst of life’s hardships, even when you weren’t aware of it.
But most of all, He has been patiently waiting for you to make Him—instead of yourself—the center of your life. Elsewhere in your letter you admit that you have never paid much attention to God. But He has been paying attention to you, and instead of getting angry at Him because things aren’t going your way now, my prayer is that you will turn to Him and discover the strength and comfort He alone can give you. By a simple prayer of faith, turn to Jesus Christ and commit your life and your future to Him.
Then trust Him for whatever lies ahead of you. Learn as much as you can about your condition; plan ahead; enjoy the good things God gives you right now. Most of all, make it your goal to grow closer to Christ—through prayer, the Bible, and fellowship with other believers.
Life isn’t always the way we wish it were, nor has God promised that it will be. But when we know Christ, we know we are never alone, no matter what happens to us. The Psalmist’s words are true: “Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:6).