Both you and your husband got into this mess (and I’m afraid that’s what it is—a mess) because you deliberately disobeyed the vow you made before God when you were married: to be faithful to each other as long as you lived.
I realize you may not have taken that vow seriously; you may not even have thought about it very much. But God took it seriously, and when we disobey Him and go our own way, there are always consequences—and they are never good. Wouldn’t it have been far better if you and your husband had been committed to your marriage and done all you could to make it stronger? Of course. Jesus’ words concerning marriage are just as valid today as they were when He first spoke them: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).
Don’t misunderstand me, however, or think I’m being harsh or unconcerned about your situation—for I’m not. Admittedly you can’t change the past—and I hope others will profit from your experience. The Bible says, “Let us learn together what is good” (Job 34:4).
But you can change the future, and I pray you will—with God’s help. Turn to Christ for the forgiveness you need, and then ask Him to come into your life and heal your marriage. God loves you, and no matter what the future holds for you, we are never alone when we know Christ.