Yes, I can understand your fear, and I’m glad you don’t want to end up as a hypocrite — claiming to be a follower of Jesus, but denying it by the way you live. Some of Jesus’ strongest words were directed at people who claimed to follow God but didn’t live the way they should.
Your fear shouldn’t keep you from following Jesus, however, and I sincerely hope it won’t. For one thing, God knows your weaknesses, and He can help you overcome them — not with your strength, but with the inner strength He’ll give you by His Spirit. Isn’t it better to face your weaknesses and turn them over to Him than to spend the rest of your life struggling unsuccessfully against them? The Apostle Paul declared, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
In addition, even when we fail (and we all do), God doesn’t reject us or cast us away. He still loves us, and He wants to forgive us and restore us. Do you remember Peter? When Jesus was arrested, Peter denied he even knew Jesus — not once, but three times. But Peter repented and Jesus forgave him, and Peter went on to become one of the greatest Christians of all time.
Don’t look at yourself and your weakness. Look instead at Jesus Christ and what He has done for you by His death on the cross and His resurrection from the dead. Commit your life to Him, and rejoice every day in His unchanging love.