I’m thankful you want to believe — because God will honor your desire by showing Himself to you. Jesus promised, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).
But don’t expect God suddenly to convince you out of the blue that He is real. He may choose to do that — but it isn’t His normal way of working, nor should you expect it. Instead, God wants you to seek Him where He can be found. Where is that? It isn’t necessarily in the world around us (although the creation certainly witnesses to His power and glory). As you point out, the world is filled with all kinds of evil — and if you only look there, you probably won’t find Him.
Where, then, should you seek God? Seek Him in Jesus Christ — because He was God in human flesh. Soon we’ll be celebrating Christmas — and the central message of Christmas is that God came down from heaven and became a man. That man was Jesus, who alone could say, “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father” (John 14:9).
What will you discover when you look at Christ as He is revealed in the pages of the Gospels? You’ll discover not only that God is real, but also that He loves you and wants you to be part of His family forever. Don’t wander in a fog of unbelief any longer, but by faith turn to Christ and open your heart and life to His transforming power.