God doesn’t give up on us until we give up on Him. Only when we repeatedly turn our backs on Him and stubbornly refuse His offer of forgiveness will He finally let us go. The Bible warns, “A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy” (Proverbs 29:1).
Have you reached that point? No, you haven’t; if you had, you wouldn’t be writing me or worrying about your salvation. The person who is in the most danger spiritually is the one who doesn’t care about his or her spiritual state. Don’t let that ever become true of you!
But your question concerns me, nevertheless, because it suggests that you have misunderstood what God expects of you. Does God just want you to behave better? To put it another way, does God promise to reward you with eternal life if you’ll just try hard enough? Or does God want something else from you? The answer is “Yes”—God does want something else, and that “something” is for you to give your life to Jesus Christ.
You see, we are separated from God because of our sins, and our greatest need is to be forgiven and cleansed of them. This is why Jesus Christ came into the world. All your sins were placed on Him, and He died for you. Now God offers you salvation as a free gift—a gift Christ paid for with His blood. Repent of your sins and ask Christ to come into your life today.