By   •   November 20, 2013   •   Topics: ,


I used to laugh when I saw associates of mine go through a so-called midlife crisis—new convertible, new girlfriend, new attempts to turn back the clock, etc. Well, now it's happened to me, and I don't know what to do. I've already destroyed my family, and I don't even care. Any advice?


In spite of what you say, I think you really do care; if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have written to me. I hope I’m right, because if I’m not, you’re facing a very grim future, whether you realize it or not.

Admittedly, you may be temporarily blinded (so to speak) by the supposed excitement of what you’ve done. The Bible, after all, acknowledges that sin may have its “fleeting pleasures” (Hebrews 11:25), but those pleasures are deceptive and seldom last. You’ve seen what’s happened to others who’ve gone down this path, and in your heart you know it almost never leads to lasting happiness. The Bible warns us not to “be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” (Hebrews 3:13).

I urge you to face the seriousness of what you’ve done, and turn away from it before it’s too late. It won’t be easy, I know, but with God’s help you can, and I pray you will. Not only is your future at stake, but also that of your family.

The most important thing you can do, however, is to face your need for God’s forgiveness, and to turn your life over to Christ. He alone can give you hope for the future, and He alone can help you turn away from temptation and begin living the way you should. Don’t be deceived by sin’s foolishness any longer, but give your life to the One who gave His life for you: Jesus Christ.

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  1. Maribel says:

    My husband is going through this, but will not accept any wrong doing. I am trying so hard, this is killing me and my kids. I want my Christian husband back! I wish he would seek advice like you!

  2. noe delacruz says:

    Clarity of my mind and for me and my family to follow Christ and for evil to stop out of my marriage in Jesus name i pray. Amen

  3. Wendy says:

    My husband of 29 yrs has been having an affair the last year-and-a-half. he thinks that he loves her but my husband has been saved. he’s just lost who he is. please pray for him and the other woman that God will build a wall between them and both return to their own families

  4. Steve Collier says:

    Billy’s comment was so appropriate. I have been struggling with this mid-life thing too, and with the empty nest and friends moving away, its a time a re-evaluation and seeking the Lord.

  5. Patti says:

    My husband is going through this, but will not accept any wrong doing. I am trying so hard, this is killing me and my kids. I want my Christian husband back! I wish he would seek advice like you!

  6. Raymond says:

    Having been born again after a horrifying open heart surgery and baptised, I was blessed with a spirit filled life and my career took off, becoming a director in a large corporate company. Then, pressures too perform and running the company as a ministry, became overwhelming. Executive christian goal driven partners abused my dedication to the company and I spent more and more time at work to make the project successful. A female colleague experienced my frustrations and her support developed into a very loving non physical affair. This provided the much needed energy to cope and I found myself wanting to impress her more than focus on my family and what God expected of me. Now I am losing everything.

  7. joy says:

    Thanyou. Amen.

  8. robert says:

    pray for me

  9. Sue says:

    Please turn away from this lifestyle and turn to the Lord. I saw my parents end up with a divorce after 41 yrs. of marriage and now my father has lost everything do to what he wanted. He has abandoned the family and doesn’t speak with us at all. My father cheated on my mom more than once which is adultery. My mom forgave him time after time but he wanted what pleased him which I feel is very selfish and self centered. Turn to God and start reading the Bible and going to church take my word it will change your life for the better and you will be much happier because God will be at your side.

  10. Dondi says:

    It may not be to late. I have no idea what all you have done. My ex-husband almost destroyed me and my 2 teenage boys. I have an 18year old that probably will never recover. You have no idea what you have done and the magnitude. Jesus does forgive but you have to turn from your ways and mean it. I was blamed for everything and I am sure you probably blamed your wife also. I will pray for you. As you try to change who you are–people will not accept it at first -I am sure of it- however your life must reflect the changes you say you are making. It will be the most difficult thing you will ever do-I am sure. My x-husband did so much to us it was awful. I hope you can get through this-the devil will tell you it is not worth the effort –I hope you did not have little girls –that is one thing that I was thankful for–I have no idea how I could have explained what her daddy had done to her mother–you see little girls get their value from their father –and you valued nobody but yourself —in reality you didn’t even have any self-worth yourself or you would not have done this. It’s time to make a change –get on your knees and stay there. It will hurt like you have never felt–just getting through my husband cheating on me took every part of my heart and soul and I am still not over it —I read constantly–try reading Max Lacado’s “You will get through this” it is an awesome book. Read all the information you can about adultery -you are not the first that has done this and you are not the last-SADLEY—I will pray for you