What you did 30 years ago was not only wrong, but also very destructive, both to you and your family. Perhaps your letter will cause someone facing a similar situation to stop and reconsider what they’re about to do.
Can you change your children’s attitude? Only time will tell, but it may not be possible. However, I would encourage you to do whatever you can to let them know you care about them, even if it’s no more than a card on their birthdays or an occasional letter. What you did 30 years ago by making it clear you wanted nothing to do with them deeply hurt them, and frankly, their reaction isn’t surprising.
But there is one thing you can change, with God’s help, and that is your own attitude. So far in life, you’ve lived only for yourself; I hope you’re finally realizing this. Now, I urge you to turn to Christ and give your life to Him.
Why do you need Christ? First of all, you need His forgiveness. But you also need Him to change you and make you into the person He wants you to be. He’ll take away the sin and selfishness that have dominated your life so far, and replace them with His love and peace. The best way to change your children’s attitude toward you is to change your life—with Christ’s help.