By   •   January 23, 2014   •   Topics:


My husband and I have been married almost 30 years, and now that our children are grown and out of the house, I have to admit we're bored with each other. We loved each other once, but I guess those days are over. Why should we stay together?


One reason I wanted to print your letter is because I hope it will be a warning to younger couples who might otherwise end up on the same road.

After all, a marriage is somewhat like a vegetable garden; unless you tend it and take care of it, the weeds will overwhelm it and insects will devour its fruit. A good marriage doesn’t just happen; it takes work, and it takes commitment. Perhaps someone reading this has allowed their marriage to drift toward the rocks, and if so, I pray you won’t let it happen. The Bible says, “May you rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18).

Is it too late for you? No, of course not—not if you turn to God and seek His help for your marriage. What can He do? First, He can give you a new desire to see your marriage healed, as you open your hearts and lives to Christ and allow His love to fill you. Then He will help you find ways to move beyond your boredom and begin to love each other again. And that can happen as you seek to serve each other and make each other happy.

Don’t go down paths that may seem attractive to you right now, but will never give you the happiness you seek. Instead, put your lives and your marriage into Christ’s hands. Then seek out a church where you can grow closer to God, and to each other, as you serve Him.

To put your marriage in Christ’s hands, you must first invite Him into your life. Begin today.

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  1. Maria says:

    see your spouse as fun and enjoyable not boring, find some thing lovable about them each day so they will be new all the time, this way your marriage will be sailing not sinking, dont let the devil whisper lies in your marriage, trust GOD for the good to come

  2. mary says:

    Don’t let Satan destroy your marriage. After so many years and bringing up a family now is the time to enjoy the time you have together. My marriage has been extremely difficult but I have relied on God and prayers to keep me going and stay devoted and loving to my unsaved husband. God is faithful and true and can bring back joy and love in your marriage if you never stop praying to him about your marriage. Get “The Power of a Praying Wife” from Stormie Omartian. It has saved my marriage. and continues to this day to bless me. God Bless You.

  3. Pastor Chinda Johnson says:

    To help my Sister and Brother a bit, I have these.
    – Admit each once weaknesses. – Forgive each once mistake by saying ” I AM SORRY” as Christ did for us. – Appreciate each once effort in the home and read Pray without ceasing. I Thes. 5:15-18.

  4. matilda acquaah gaisie says:

    Thats a good one. Thanks

  5. Carroll Williams says:

    Just as this Lady is writing, my wife and I have been married for forty years, and it’s not that we grew bored with each other, we discovered how much different we really were. And at one time I contemplated getting a divorce, but God kept telling me to hang in there that our marriage would improve. Believe me when I say that He is true to His promise. God has kept us together because we were married under the blessings of Christ, and God did not want us to break our vows to each other and to Him. So, hang in there, stay strong. God will help you through this.

  6. michael says:

    Well, in their case they are still as one w/ the same bed & everything. My girlfriend & I are unique in that we’ve been going together since the 70s but haven’t been able to marry it seems. In addition she’s lost interest in the idea for fear it might damage our relationship. However, about 30 years ago we both were interested, but her parents (now deceased) didn’t think I could support her on my meager income.

  7. Jack woltz says:

    JESUS SAYS, ST, MARK 9:50, Salt is good, But if the salt loses its salt ness, how will you season it, Have salt in your selves, And have peace, With each other, JESUS SAYS, St, MARK 10:9, WHAT THERE FOR, GOD HAS JOINED TOGATHER, LET NO MAN, PUT ASCNDER, { SEPERATE}, IT is A COMMAND, FROM GOD, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, GOD BLESS ALL.

  8. Dewitt Andrews says:

    This message is right on target! Our Loving God loves us, we are His people & He not only loves us but desires the best for us! Try His way & you will be a new person making the right decisions for your future!

  9. Jean Bisnett says:

    Just wanted to encourage this couple to hang in there! We do marital counseling and tell our couples to ask this question: “Will I be better or worse off if I separate or divorce my mate? Ask that question honestly of God and step back and watch Him work! God is good and anxious to help you rediscover the love you had (and probably still have)! It is never too late for Him to work a miracle in your life!

  10. nancy says:

    This could have been something I would have written in some point and time. My marriage lasted 27 years. My husband gave me a very difficult time. I worked very hard to make it succeed. When he had major health problems I had to put him in a nursing home because I could not take care of him. Before that happened he joined our church and I was thrilled. I set a quiet example and never gave up on the marriage. He is he died 15 months ago but I am glad I saw it thru.

    1. Sandra smelcer says:

      Bless you