Answers

By   •   January 18, 2017   •   Topics:

Q:

I know we ought to forgive people who have hurt us, but why bother if it doesn't make any difference? Although my ex-husband hurt me very deeply, I think I can honestly say that I've forgiven him. But when I told him I'd forgiven him, he just laughed at me. Why did he do this?


A:

One reason he laughed at you may be because he refuses to feel guilty over what he did or admit that he needs to be forgiven. Sadly, another possibility is that he knew his reaction probably would hurt you—and he doesn’t care.

It’s hard to forgive someone who has hurt us; our natural reaction is to strike back and hurt them in return. But that only causes more damage, because it prolongs the problem and makes it even worse—so much so that any hope of reconciliation or forgiveness is lost. But the Bible wisely tells us not to go down that road. It says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath. … Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:19, 21).

Why, then, forgive someone who refuses to accept our forgiveness? One reason is because of what bitterness and anger do to us. Like a dangerous infection, they eat away at our minds and hearts, and turn us into unpleasant people that no one likes to be around. The Bible says, “See to it … that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).

But another reason to forgive others is because an unforgiving spirit cuts us off from God. In spite of our sin, Jesus Christ freely gave His life for us. Now He calls us to forgive others just as He has forgiven us—freely and fully.

Have you received God’s forgiveness? Learn how.