Billy Graham’s My Answer

By   •   August 22, 2014

criticize

Q:

My husband got upset with me the other day because he says all I do is criticize him. Instead of getting angry (like I usually do), I stopped and thought about it, and I guess he’s probably right. But what can I do? I make critical remarks without even thinking.


A:

You’ve already taken the first step by admitting you have this problem and want to do something about it. Constantly criticizing others not only drives a wedge between you and them, but is wrong in the eyes of God.

Why is this? One reason is that a critical attitude almost always has its roots in pride — which is a sin. Down inside, a critical person likes to think he or she is superior to others, and knows better than they do how things ought to be done. Even if they’re occasionally right about this, they end up implying that the other person is dumber than they are. But the Bible warns, “The pride of your heart has deceived you” (Obadiah 3).

What can you do? First, ask your husband to forgive you, and also to help you overcome your tendency to be critical. Learn to compliment others when they do something positive — and deliberately look for things you can compliment. This may seem hard at first; right now, you’re used to looking for things to criticize. But in time your attitude can change, with God’s help.

Most of all, make Christ the center of your life, and ask Him to help you love others the way He does. Ask Him also to help you control your tongue, so you learn to bless and encourage others instead of criticizing them. The Bible says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6).

Read More Answers on the subject of marriage

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29 Comments

  1. Grace says:

    Thankyou for that .Its explained alot to me and something I have been uneasy about all my life.How to dealwith the bad conversation many women dump on me.No more.Aswell that critical thinking can be cured withGods help.

  2. Monty Hughes says:

    Being critical is a fault of most human beings. I notice it more today than ever before. I have a tendency to be critical myself because so many things disgust me about our society. All I can do is pray about it and try and correct myself. Ask God for forgiveness. He will never fail you.

  3. William H. White says:

    PRIDE is one of the worst, if not the worst, of all sins and leads to many others. We are all prideful to some degree or the other.

  4. Moses says:

    I want to work for God

  5. GORDON CORNELL LAYNE says:

    Help us all realize with our Inner Spiritual Vision the inestimable value of Humility that can equate our lives to each other in Balanced Harmony of Purpose to Protect Your Beautiful Planet and Your People upon it!

  6. GORDON CORNELL LAYNE says:

    Here on earth we must communicate clearly with each other to avoid misunderstanding–being shut out. Yet even more Vital is our forthright, honest, two-way communion with God, Christ, and The Holy Spirit!

  7. GORDON CORNELL LAYNE says:

    Seeking continuously to “catch errors” in others, we are sure to collect a multitude within everyone–for-we’re all “born sinners”, right? Our challenge is discovering pure gems of Godliness, and polishing them.

  8. Jack Woltz says says:

    In my own experience, Use the BIBLE, IT SAYS, COL. 3; 8, But now ye, Also put off things, ANGER, WRATH, BLASPHEMY, FILTHY COMMUNICATIONS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, Lie not one to another, Seeing that ye have put off the old man, With his deeds, And have put on the new man, Which is renewed in Knowledge after the image of HIM THAT CREATED HIM, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, GOD BLESS ALL.

  9. Isaac Tumusiime says:

    I am very grateful for this! Will ask for forgiveness from my spouse for being so critical and ask God to give me the grace to complement more!