The most important thing I want you to know is that God wants you to be a good father — and with His help you can be. After all, He gave your children to you, and He wants you to see them as a gift, as well as a responsibility. The Bible says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3).
Our children learn from us in two ways: by looking at our lives, and by listening to our words. This is why the first step we need to take to become good parents is to look at ourselves, and ask what kind of example we’re setting for them. You mention you’ve been rebellious much of your life; do you still insist on going your own way, no matter the consequences? Are you still alienated from your parents, who are also your children’s grandparents?
In other words, what will your children learn about life as they watch you in the years ahead? Face this honestly, and then turn to Jesus Christ and ask Him to come into your life to forgive you and help you do what is right.
Our children also learn from our words, and from the lessons we try to teach them. Get a Bible storybook and read it to your children and pray with them every night. Make the Bible your own source of wisdom, also; Proverbs would be an excellent place for you to start.