Answers

By   •   November 29, 2013   •   Topics:

Q:

I know Jesus said we're supposed to forgive people who've hurt us, but why bother? As far as I can tell, it doesn't really change them, nor does it make the hurts go away.


A:

Admittedly, forgiving someone who’s hurt us doesn’t always change them. Instead, they may laugh at us, or cynically accuse us of being insincere and only trying to manipulate them. They also may keep blaming us for what happened, just as they’ve always done. But occasionally it will change them — sometimes in surprising ways.

But let me tell you what will happen if you truly forgive someone who has hurt you. No, it may not change them, but it will change you. You see, an unforgiving spirit produces all kinds of negative emotions in us — anger, bitterness, depression, jealousy, hate, and so forth. Any of those easily becomes a spiritual and emotional poison, eating away at our souls and turning us into unloving (and unlovable) people. This is why the Bible commands us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger” (Ephesians 4:31).

How can you forgive someone who has hurt you? You may think it’s impossible — but with God’s help you can. The key is first to accept God’s forgiveness, by receiving the free gift of salvation He offers you in Jesus Christ. We don’t deserve God’s forgiveness, but on the cross all of our sins were placed in Christ, and He took the judgment we deserve. Have you turned to Him for the forgiveness you need?

Then forgive others the same way Christ has forgiven you — freely and fully. Not only will God release you from an unforgiving spirit, but He even may use you to change the life of the person you’ve forgiven.

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44 Comments

  1. joseph says:

    very true…inspiring!

  2. Kar says:

    Please pray for me to forgive her.

  3. junie intia-gavino says:

    I have been a subscriber of DECISION Magazine during high school. Thank you so much Rev. Billy Graham.

  4. Sharlene Gagnon says:

    I forgave someone but it has not changed him in over 40 years. I changed for the better an not him that destroyed my marriage an me an my family,

  5. Melanie Schroeder says:

    O how I needed to read this. Thanks so much.

  6. Lucy Elias-Simpson says:

    thank you ! yes, it’s impossible to forgiven those who have hurting you ? but in accepting God’s forgiveness first ? I’m trying to forgive someone, it’s hard . but I’m doing with the grace of God ! now I’m saved by the grace of Jesus, and on my way to being a kind of person God’s want me to be ! alleluia, praised the Lord Jesus. now I’m waiting Gods healing, and blessings in my life , and my family too. thank you BGM ! for help me to a better future in Christ Jesus…… God Bless you all………. and very pleased to finished my course on the line ……….. in to know Jesus on the net……………..

  7. Bette Davis Reyes says:

    I am having a hard time coping with forgetting & forgiving my husbands Ex for stirring up alot of trouble looking for me to start trouble. His kids stole many, many times from me & our home. The ex- wife would call the kids at holidays to question them about who was at the house, what was I wearing & telling them that they did not have to listen to me about going by our house rules. They used drugs, stole our liquor we had at that time. They destroyed my son 3 wheeler & dismantled it & took it to their friends home. My bitterness is only getting worse!!! I am upset with my husband because he covers for all of them. So much more but it would be a book. I need help!!!! Please pray for me!

    1. Frankie says:

      As hard as it is to forgive someone when you are in the middle of a continuing situation, the best thing you can do is begin to earnestly pray for them. I find it is impossible to keep hating or having bitter feelings when you throw yourself into prayer for them daily. Over time they become a little less of a demon in your world and little more human. Just know each time that this a person who Satan is trying to destroy you through and they are so accustomed to his presence that they may not realize how much they are being used by the devil. Pray for their deliverance, and let the enemy know you see what he is up to.

    2. Steve says:

      Realizing what God has done for us thru Jesus gives us his forgiveness as a gift to give to others

  8. Cesar Delo Santos says:

    Excellent info, like it

  9. gertrude says:

    its the message i needed.thxs

  10. Mary J Cargain says:

    the forgiveness is for our hearts and spirit, Once you forgive you are set free. The memory may not
    go , but in time you will feel the freedom. beside as we forgive Jesus forgive us. We all need the Grace of God for this, no one can do it alone.