I suspect many readers can identify with you–and every Christian experiences this to some extent. But God doesn’t want our relationship with Him to be this way, and it can be different.
What’s the problem? One reason may be that you’re listening to what your feelings are telling you, rather than to God’s Word. Emotions aren’t wrong; God gave them to us, and they are an important part of our lives. But emotions change, and our feelings go up and down. And if our faith is based mainly on our feelings, our faith will go up and down also.
This was Peter’s problem. Do you remember Jesus’ warning that Peter would deny Him? Peter hotly disagreed: “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will,” but only hours later, “he began to call down curses on himself and he swore to them, ‘I don’t know the man!’” (Matthew 26:33,74). He let his emotions overpower him.
What’s the answer? The answer is to keep your eyes on Christ. Make sure of your commitment to Him; if you’ve never invited Him into your life, do so today. Then let His Word, the Bible, become your daily companion. Take time to pray also, not just for yourself but for others. In addition, get into a church where Christ is preached and taught. The Bible’s promise is true: “Come near to God and he will come near to you” (James 4:8).