Answers

By   •   June 28, 2010   •   Topics:

Q:

My wife and I have only been married a few years, and we love each other more than ever. But we read about people getting divorced after 20 or 30 years of marriage, and it worries us. What does it take to make a marriage last?


A:

I’m thankful you have a strong relationship now — but I’m especially thankful you realize there could be dangers ahead, and you want to take steps to prevent them. A good marriage doesn’t just happen; it takes work — but it’s worth it.

I could say much about building a strong marriage — but I’ve sometimes summarized them in four simple points that might be easy to remember. Let me repeat them; each begins with the letter “C”.

First, Cherish. God gave you to each other; you are God’s gift to your spouse. Take time to express your love, both by your words and by little acts of thoughtfulness — a surprise gift, a special time away, a favorite dinner. Cherish your wife, and let her know she is important to you.

Second, Communicate. Let each other know what’s going on in your life at home or at work. Don’t clam up; don’t nag or only express yourself when you’re upset. The Bible says, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).

Third, Compromise. The greatest enemy of love is our selfishness, but in marriage you can’t always have your own way, so learn to compromise with grace. The Bible says, “Love does not demand its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5, The Living Bible).

Finally, Christ. Make Christ the center of your lives and your marriage every day, by committing yourself to Him and His will. He is the solid foundation we need — in our lives, and in our marriages.

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41 Comments

  1. lisa bilbo says:

    I really liked reading this. I pray that my husband will read it

  2. c says:

    really struggling right now with past hurts and boredom

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Thank you for the timely word. It will help me encourage my sister who is going through a rough time in her marriage, the 3 C's. Please remember her.

  4. Fee says:

    I am single but looking forward to marriage. This article answered so many questions for me. My parents have been married over 37 yrs and grandparents over 77 years. Its good to combine their wisdom with your knowledge. I know there is hope for me.

  5. love joy says:

    thank u very much for the article.so inspiring and really opened up my eyes.God bless your net program

  6. David says:

    We celebrated our 50th anniversary last month. Before we said YES to one and another; we talked about being mature enough to reason things out when their might be a 'fight' and which ever one was at fault would own up to it and make good.

  7. noel says:

    thank u for this piece of tools which can help many couples to stand firm.as i am heading for a divorce,i can see where i messed up in life.to those who are not yet married,i would advice they should pray and wait from GOD for a wife or husband.

  8. Alice says:

    I am a product of a divorce as a child. It was so painful I decided no matter what I would make it work. Things do happen but at 55 years together God has made the difference. Our 4 kids tell us how thankful they are that we stuck it out.

  9. Sharon says:

    When you get married, we sometimes take our spouse as gods, only God is God, we are human and we make mistakes. See each other as you would like the other to see you. Trust God and let him solve your problems, put him first. Married at 20, now 42.

  10. Innocent says:

    Thanks for this brief but wonderful piece.