Answers

By   •   June 28, 2010   •   Topics:

Q:

My wife and I have only been married a few years, and we love each other more than ever. But we read about people getting divorced after 20 or 30 years of marriage, and it worries us. What does it take to make a marriage last?


A:

I’m thankful you have a strong relationship now — but I’m especially thankful you realize there could be dangers ahead, and you want to take steps to prevent them. A good marriage doesn’t just happen; it takes work — but it’s worth it.

I could say much about building a strong marriage — but I’ve sometimes summarized them in four simple points that might be easy to remember. Let me repeat them; each begins with the letter “C”.

First, Cherish. God gave you to each other; you are God’s gift to your spouse. Take time to express your love, both by your words and by little acts of thoughtfulness — a surprise gift, a special time away, a favorite dinner. Cherish your wife, and let her know she is important to you.

Second, Communicate. Let each other know what’s going on in your life at home or at work. Don’t clam up; don’t nag or only express yourself when you’re upset. The Bible says, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).

Third, Compromise. The greatest enemy of love is our selfishness, but in marriage you can’t always have your own way, so learn to compromise with grace. The Bible says, “Love does not demand its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5, The Living Bible).

Finally, Christ. Make Christ the center of your lives and your marriage every day, by committing yourself to Him and His will. He is the solid foundation we need — in our lives, and in our marriages.

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41 Comments

  1. marmin says:

    when we committed our marriage to Christ ,we/re able to experience a lot of changes such as forgiveness, trust, praying together. Praise Jesus.

  2. Ray says:

    “Truth is the Glue that makes a Marriage Stick Together when you both Practice it.” — A Proverb of The Peacock

  3. Patti says:

    Thank you for these four “C”'s to remember daily! Prayer time at our Church includes all families, law enforcement, troops, clergy, etc. to give emphasis on keeping our families strong! Married 35 yrs, high school sweethearts! Glory to God!

  4. Brenda says:

    Really need prayers. OUR marriage was pretty much perfect before but since the loss of my son things are not the same. I can't seem to get over the loss and he doesn't seem to understand.

  5. Ben says:

    What do you do when your spouse put the children first in the relationship? What do you do when one spouse look to the Lord for direction in the marriage and the other dose not?

  6. Wally says:

    52 Beautiful years and if God would not have needed her so badly in Heaven it would be 59years soon. We must put our trust in him. I'll Love you forever, Sweetheart.

  7. rob says:

    Cathy, Love your husband for who he is. If he's got weaknesses still love him and see how God can make you stronger through those weaknesses. To love someone, in spite of weaknesses or mistakes is one of life's greatest gifts. forgive every day

  8. Robert says:

    My marriage lasted almost 59 years until my wife died. The four things you listed were definitely the key to our marriage lasting a lifetime. I Remember when your engagement was announced at Wheaton College.

  9. Janet says:

    We've been married 42 1/2 years – high school sweethearts. Only by God's forgiving grace did we weather a bad time but now what keeps us talking is praying together every morning and that includes confession of our sins to each other.

  10. Carol says:

    We have been married for over 40 years, and I love every minute of it. Sure, we have had problems and difficulties along the way, but we always me them head on–together. I can't think of one single thing that we met individually.