Yes, I can understand how you feel, and I want to assure you that God also understands your feelings and inner conflicts. God doesn’t abandon us when we’re tempted to doubt Him or rebel against Him, but He also doesn’t want us to go down paths that He knows will only lead to disaster.
What should you do? First, I hope you’ll come to understand why you feel this way. There may be many reasons, of course, but almost certainly one is that nearly everyone your age yearns to be independent. For most of your life you’ve been under your parents’ wings, but now you want to spread your own wings (as it were) and be out on your own. (Incidentally, parents don’t always understand this, although they probably felt like this when they were young!)
But this desire for independence can be both good and bad. It can be good, because that’s part of being an adult. But it also can be bad if we use it in the wrong way. In other words, you could end up making decisions out of rebellion, and only because your parents oppose them, although those decisions could be very wrong.
My prayer is that you will deliberately commit your life to Jesus Christ, and make Him the Lord of your life. Then commit your future to Him, and ask Him to help you do what is right. The Bible says, “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace” (2 Timothy 2:22).