By   •   August 31, 2009   •   Topics: ,


Our son has been living with his girlfriend for over a year, and now they're going to have a baby. He wasn't brought up this way, and as Christians we don't know how to deal with it. My husband says we ought to just cut them off until they get married (which may never happen), but I hate the idea of never knowing my grandchild. What should we do?


Our children don’t always make the choices we wish they would; they may even go in radically different directions from what we tried to teach them. But as they grow older, we usually lose our control over them, and a wise parent will accept this reality. The best we can do is to try to influence them and encourage them to do what is right.

Your son knows you disagree with what he has done. But he is still your son – and this child will still be your grandchild. Is it best for your grandchild to grow up without knowing you? Is it best for your grandchild to grow up without seeing your example as husband and wife, or learning from you about Christ’s love for him or her? No, of course not. The Bible says, “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs” (Proverbs 10:12).

Remember too that in time your son may realize the seriousness of his new responsibilities as a parent – and this may lead him to marriage. Pray that God will use this little child to show your son and his girlfriend their need to take that step of commitment.

Pray most of all that your son will realize his need of Christ. Yes, he needs Christ’s forgiveness, but he also needs a solid foundation for his life – a foundation that can only come from a living faith in Christ.

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  1. Penelope Ray says:

    The Lord just ministered to my heart with your mention of Proverbs 10:12. <3

  2. Chanda says:

    My son also is 19 yrs but he has just gone world we have tried all that we can we our ability as parents to help him see that drinking and smoking is bad but it has not help pray for him. Am a Sunday school teacher & I feel bad seeing our son go a way we never introduced him to please help us what should be done.

  3. Linda says:

    Thank you so much for your direction. So many pastors I have listened to say to cut them off but I could never understand how that would help. How is that teaching them love, how would we be able to show them God or our love for them if we walk away from them. Thank you so much for your direction & showing what the Bible teaches. God Bless!!!

    1. Sandra smelcer says:

      Many pastors children go astray too, today children are searching and wanting love and acceptance, I know because my husband is a pastor, and he has never said to leave them alone, we always encourage families to pray for loved ones

  4. debra pasnik says:

    Thank you for this message, God delivers what we need to hear.

  5. Marie Lewis says:


  6. M Todryk says:

    I have a wayward son. Whenever I get angry or frustrated with him I remind myself of all the times my thoughts and actions are contrary to my Fathers will. This gives me the peace I need to love him, not his sin. And to pray believing God will restore him.

  7. Rodger Smeall says:

    Walking through, Praying Through, and follow through. We as parents have adopted these central themes for our relationships with our children. It also works with struggling people in and out of the faith.. God is in control and we really need to make witnessing opportunities along the way. We are not in control but we can influence and encourage others by staying connected.

  8. Bernadette Blakely says:

    My husband & I have custody of a grandchild. He is 7 years old now. His father was shot and killed before he was born and his mom lives with us. she has a problem with depression and pills. The other grandmother blames my daughter for her son’s death. We are trying to do what is right for the child but it seems everything is against us.

    1. Doug Watson says:

      I know your in a hard situation, but God is faithful. Keep reading His word each and everyday, keep praying, keep being faithful, the Bible says, “when we’ve done all to do, stand” just stand and be faithful to the end. God Bless you, I will put you and your family on my prayer list.

    2. N Demings says:

      I will pray for your Psalm 91 for you, your grandson and your daughter. Christ is for you!

    3. Sandra smelcer says:

      Will be praying for u, we too have raised grandchildren and sometimes the road is hard but just think where would your grandson be without you, God will see u thru