Answers

By   •   February 4, 2009

Q:

Our mother (in her 80s) fell and broke her hip a few weeks ago, and her doctor has told us she can't live alone any longer. She's in a rehab center now, but when my brother talked to her about moving out of her house and into a nursing home she got very angry. How can we convince her? We only want what's best for her.


A:

The older we get, the harder life often becomes – and one of the hardships of growing older is that we’re no longer able to do some of the things we once did. As a result, our choices become fewer – and often less desirable.

But that’s often difficult to accept, and we resist making the changes we inevitably must make. To make matters worse, the older we get the more we dislike change, and the harder it is for us to adjust. This seems to be the case with your mother (and if you live long enough, you’ll probably be the same way!).

What can you do? First, examine your choices. For example, is it possible for her to live with one of her children once she recovers? Or can someone be hired to help her in her home? Is an assisted living facility a possibility (with nursing care if she needs it)? Look too at the nursing homes in your area; many today are modern and cheery, and provide a high standard of care.

Then enlist your doctor and your pastor (and anyone else she respects and trusts) to help your mother realize her limitations. Assure her of your love and concern for her, and encourage her to seek God’s will for this next stage of her life. God loves her, and His promise is sure: “Even to your old age and gray hairs … I will sustain you” (Isaiah 46:4).

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