Answers

By   •   June 5, 2006

Q:

Our marriage isn't what it used to be, and to be honest, I find myself very attracted to a divorcee who has moved into our apartment complex and is very friendly and sympathetic. What's wrong with being friendly with her? Doesn't God want us to be happy?


A:

I sincerely hope you won’t go down this road. Not only are you in danger of destroying your own marriage, but you’re in danger of disobeying God by breaking the solemn vow you made to Him when you got married. Jesus said of marriage, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6).

Instead, I urge you to do all you can to renew your marriage. No, it may not be easy—but it will be right. I don’t know exactly what has gone wrong in your marriage, of course—but God does, and the most important thing I can urge you to do is to turn to Christ and ask Him to help you resist temptation and make your marriage what He wants it to be.

Begin by opening your heart and life to Christ, then ask Him to give you a new commitment to your marriage. Ask Him also to help you love your wife as you should, and go out of your way to show love to her. Remember: Love isn’t just an emotional feeling; our feelings come and go. Love is primarily a commitment of the will—a decision to put the other person first.

Many people enter marriage expecting it to be a life of uninterrupted bliss and happiness. But marriage isn’t always that way. Instead, love grows stronger in the midst of life’s trials. With God’s help, this can happen to you.

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