Answers

By   •   November 1, 2005

Q:

My parents are always getting after me because I'm in my mid-30s and haven't gotten married yet, and they think I should (I'm their only son). I hope to get married someday, but I'm a very busy person, and also I haven't found the right person yet. How can I get them to back off?


A:

No doubt your parents love you and don’t want you to go through life alone. I know marriage isn’t for everyone, but your parents want you to be happy, and I hope you will be grateful for their concern.

At the same time, they should respect your independence as an adult and not pressure you into doing something you aren’t yet prepared to do. As a parent, I know this isn’t always easy; it’s hard for us to let go! Nor should we completely; if we can help our children avoid mistakes and heartaches, we should do so. Perhaps a gentle word from you will help them understand your feelings. (Avoid arguing, however; it will only make things worse. Proverbs 15:1 wisely says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”)

The most important thing I can say to you, however, is to urge you to seek God’s will for your future. God loves you, and He knows what is best for you—far better than you do. He gave marriage to us, and if it is His will for you to marry someday, then He can be trusted to lead you to the right person.

In the meantime, I hope you won’t be too busy for God. It’s easy to get so involved with our careers or families that we push God to the margins. But it shouldn’t be this way. Make sure of your commitment to Christ, and then put Him first in everything.

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