Answers

By   •   June 1, 2004   •   Topics:

Q:

Our marriage has turned into one long shouting match. We both hate it and say all the time that we'll try to do better, but then something comes along and we end up back in the same old rut. Is our marriage at an end?


A:

No, it doesn’t need to be at an end–and God doesn’t want it to end. Instead, He wants to help you and bring healing to your marriage, and He will if you will let Him. How can this happen? Begin by analyzing the problem. The problem isn’t just that you get upset and shout at each other; the problem is deeper than that. In other words, the shouting is only a symptom of the real problem. Only you can say what that is–but I suspect the real problem is that you both are fighting for control. In other words, you both want to have your own way–and when you can’t, you get angry and begin fighting.

But true love doesn’t put self first; it seeks what is best for the other person. Look carefully at what the Bible says: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

How can you have that kind of love in your marriage? Begin by confessing your sins to God, and your need for His help. Then ask Christ to come into your lives, to forgive the past, and become the center and foundation of your marriage. No, your problems won’t instantly vanish–but with Christ in your hearts you can begin again.

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