By   •   May 12, 2006   •   Topics:


My husband unexpectedly died in his sleep six months ago, and we didn't even have a chance to say goodbye. I don't think I'll ever get over it. I know we'll meet again in heaven but that doesn't seem to help me right now. Can you help me?


One of the hardest experiences any of us will ever face in life is losing someone we dearly love—and I know it’s especially hard when death comes unexpectedly and we have no opportunity to say a final goodbye.

Perhaps the most important thing I can say to you is that God loves you and understands what you’re going through. When Jesus stood by the tomb of His friend Lazarus, He knew that shortly He would bring Lazarus back to life—but the Bible still says that “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). This is the shortest verse in the Bible, but it reveals a great truth about Christ’s compassion for those who grieve. The Bible says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail” (Lamentations 3:22).

You will always remember your husband, and your grief over his death won’t go away quickly. But in time, your pain will lessen—and God wants to help you in this process. What can you do? First, take time each day to thank God for the years you had together. Thankfulness is like a healing balm to our souls.

Then ask God to help you reach out to others who are grieving. They need your encouragement—and you need theirs. Most of all, don’t carry your burden alone but hand it over to Christ. The Bible says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall” (Psalm 55:22).

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  1. Kathleen Confalone says:

    My husband died two years ago in his sleep. He was 58 and I never saw it coming. I’m still in pain and hope it gets better soon.

  2. Denise says:

    I feel your pain as I too just lost my husband 7 weeks ago in his sleep. It has been the most devastating time in my life to attempt to face each day without him, He was my rock, my shield, my protector. I know my faith will lead me through this, but everyday is a challenge. I miss everything about him, both the good and the bad. I only wished that I could have that last day back just to tell him how much I love him. And I will never say Goodbye. He will live on in my memories and more importantly in my HEART until we are reunited.

  3. jan says:

    I am so so sorry for your lost. You are in my prayers.