Answers

By   •   October 5, 2004

Q:

I know you must get lots of letters like this, but my husband admitted to me the other day that he had been having an affair with someone he met at work. He claims it's all over, but I don't think I can ever forgive him. Is our marriage finished?


A:

I do receive many, many letters like yours–and they never fail to distress me, because each one tells of a broken heart as well as a broken marriage.

But I know they also distress and sadden God, because God loves us and He did not intend for marriage to be this way. God gave marriage to us, and He meant for it to be a source of great joy and love. He also meant for it to be a relationship of mutual trust and security. God’s first words in the Bible about marriage reveal this: “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’ ” (Genesis 2:18).

Is your marriage finished? No, not necessarily; God wants to help you heal your relationship. Yes, your trust has been shattered. But if you both are willing to start again (as your husband seems to be), you can come through this with an even stronger love. It won’t be easy–but it will be worth it.

Begin by committing yourselves–not just your marriage, but your whole lives–to Jesus Christ. Make Him the center and the foundation of your relationship. Pray regularly for each other, and find a church where Christ is preached and lived. God loves you both, and with His forgiveness and help you can begin again.

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