Answers

By   •   October 22, 2008

Q:

My husband and I said we'd never remarry after one of us died. But I've been so lonely after his death last year that I'd give almost anything to find another husband. Would it be wrong for me to remarry, since I always said I wouldn't?


A:

If it’s God’s will for you to remarry, then you shouldn’t let yourself be held back by what you once thought you’d do. The Bible says, “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry” (1 Corinthians 7:39).

But note carefully what I just said: “If it’s God’s will for you to remarry …” More than once I’ve seen people rush into marriage not long after their spouse died — often because of the same loneliness you are experiencing. But frequently they’ve had a very difficult time adjusting to a new spouse, and in some cases this has led to separation or divorce. The older we get the harder it is for us to change our ways — and that can lead to much conflict and disappointment. Remarry only if you are convinced it is God’s will.

In the meantime, thank God every day for the happy years you and your husband had together. Ask God also to help you find ways to overcome your loneliness — through activities in your church, or volunteering to help people in your community, or through a hobby that brings you into contact with others.

Most of all, make it your goal to grow closer to Christ through prayer, fellowship and the Bible. We are never alone when we know Him. God’s promise is true: “The Lord is near to all who call on him” (Psalm 145:18).

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