Answers

By   •   November 18, 2013   •   Topics: ,

Q:

My husband got upset with me the other day because he says all I do is criticize him. Instead of getting angry (like I usually do), I stopped and thought about it, and I guess he's probably right. But what can I do? I make critical remarks without even thinking.


A:

You’ve already taken the first step by admitting you have this problem and want to do something about it. Constantly criticizing others not only drives a wedge between you and them, but is wrong in the eyes of God.

Why is this? One reason is that a critical attitude almost always has its roots in pride — which is a sin. Down inside, a critical person likes to think he or she is superior to others, and knows better than they do how things ought to be done. Even if they’re occasionally right about this, they end up implying that the other person is dumber than they are. But the Bible warns, “The pride of your heart has deceived you” (Obadiah 3).

What can you do? First, ask your husband to forgive you, and also to help you overcome your tendency to be critical. Learn to compliment others when they do something positive — and deliberately look for things you can compliment. This may seem hard at first; right now, you’re used to looking for things to criticize. But in time your attitude can change, with God’s help.

Most of all, make Christ the center of your life, and ask Him to help you love others the way He does. Ask Him also to help you control your tongue, so you learn to bless and encourage others instead of criticizing them. The Bible says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6).

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19 Comments

  1. Tryphosa says:

    So true. Its for all those who are holding their way rather than God and his goodness.

  2. Carolyn Derrick says:

    Thank you
    .just what I needed to hear. Sometimes our mouth speaks before we think..my husband does good things. Just need to quite critiquing the bad and with God’s help will improve.

  3. Jerry says:

    I see myself in this Q&A.I ask all my friends to forgive me.

  4. Nancy Lowery says:

    Pray every day for GOD’S guidance.

  5. maryannh62@gmail.com says:

    I really needed to see this!

  6. Jesse makale says:

    gr8 teaching.Amen 2 that

  7. Mary says:

    Thank you for posting this article. Humility and patience are sometimes hard to live by especially when you are facing perpetual forms of challenges. This article clearly reminded me that God’s guidance is there for us and that nothing on this earth is far more greater than His provisions and grace.

  8. Mary says:

    My mother was very wise, in her later years, She came to Christ in 1976 at a Billy Graham revival in San Diego. She had a placard on her wall that said Lord Season My Words with Salt as Tomorrow I May Have to Eat Them. I would read it and wonder at it. Till one day my sweet husband called me a shrew, I was in shock, ME a shrew, I examined my words and I reliesed I had been speaking meanly to my beloved husband.. It made me stop. And the Lord uses it to remind me. To measure my words. especially to my beloved family who is and of us, as we are all the Lord God’s children.

  9. Rebecca says:

    This is me. Lord help me to overcome this. I love my husband and do not want hurt him, but most of all I don’t want to hurt You, in Jesus name, amen