No, there’s no reason for you to be like this — not if you have sincerely committed your life into Christ’s hands. God has promised to forgive us if we put our faith and trust in Christ — and (as I’ve often pointed out) God cannot lie.
Think of it this way. Suppose you’d committed a crime, had been caught and were now in court before the judge. He listened carefully to the evidence; he also listened to your confession (because you knew you were guilty and deserved to be punished). Then he pronounced the sentence: You were guilty, and he decreed that you must either pay a fine or go to jail. But you couldn’t pay the fine; you didn’t have enough money. Your only choice was to go to jail.
But then suppose the judge stepped down from his bench, reached in his pocket — and paid the fine for you! Then you’d be free! There wouldn’t be any reason for you to worry about going to jail because the penalty had been paid.
And this is what Jesus Christ did for you. We deserve God’s judgment for our sins — but Jesus Christ paid the penalty for us, by dying on the cross. The Bible says, “Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!” (Romans 5:9). Don’t doubt any longer what Christ did for you, but thank Him that you now belong to Him — forever.