The fact that you’re afraid you’ve gone too far and God won’t forgive you is actually a good sign, because it means there is hope for you! If you were unconcerned, then you’d never turn to God, and you’d never have any hope of forgiveness.
After all, the person who’s in the most danger spiritually is the one who feels no need for God’s forgiveness. He or she is like someone walking around with a deadly cancer growing inside them — and yet ignoring it until it’s too late. Sin is like a deadly cancer, for unless we’re cleansed from it, it will destroy us. The Bible warns, “Whoever remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed — without remedy” (Proverbs 29:1).
The most important thing I can say to you, however, is this: It’s never too late to turn to Christ. Even when you wanted nothing to do with Him, God still loved you — and He loves you still. Do you remember the Apostle Paul in the Bible? At one time, he hated Christ, and did everything he could to destroy those who’d become His followers. How could God ever forgive someone like that?
But one day, Paul met Jesus, and God not only forgave him, but Paul’s life was completely changed. This can happen to you. By faith ask Jesus to forgive you and come into your life — and He will. You can trust God’s promise: “The blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).