My first reaction to your letter, frankly, was one of great sadness, because your mind and heart seem absolutely closed to any other viewpoint. Centuries ago, the Prophet Jeremiah warned the people of his generation about the dangers of having “stubborn and rebellious hearts” (Jeremiah 5:23).
My second reaction to your letter was to ask why you might feel this way. Only you know the answer, of course (or perhaps you don’t; you may never have honestly examined your real motives). Are you rebelling against your parents? Or are you confused by some of the failures you see among so-called Christians (who may not be Christians at all)? Perhaps so, but God is far greater than these.
Or is it something deeper? I suspect it is, and that your real problem is that you simply want to run your own life, and you don’t want God (or anyone else) telling you what to do. But this is a dead-end road, and I urge you not to take it. Jesus warned, “Broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it” (Matthew 7:13).
I challenge you to have an open mind and heart about Jesus. Look at Him as He is found in the Gospels of the New Testament — at His life, His teachings, His death and resurrection. Then be honest about your need of Him — both for this life and the life to come — and by faith become His follower. I’ve never met a person who regretted giving their life to Christ — and neither will you.