I too hope someone will learn from your life — because the worst thing that can happen to us is to come to the end of our life and realize we’ve wasted it and aren’t ready to meet God. We’ll stand before Him anyway — but by then it’ll be too late.
You can’t change the past, much as you wish you could. But listen: You can change the future! Right now, you have no hope — either for your remaining days on earth or for eternity. But it doesn’t need to be that way! The reason is because God still loves you, in spite of the way you’ve ignored Him and fought against Him. And because He loves you, He wants to forgive the past and give you hope for the future.
How is this possible? It’s possible for one reason: Jesus Christ died for you. If you had been the only person on earth who needed to be forgiven and saved, Jesus Christ still would have died for you. God loves you that much! The Bible’s words are true: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
Don’t give in to hopelessness. Instead, by faith turn to Jesus Christ and open your heart and life to Him. God wants to forgive you and welcome you into His family forever — beginning today.