Answers

By   •   November 15, 2012   •   Topics:

Q:

I'm burdened with guilt because my husband and I had an argument one morning and two hours later he died in a car crash. I even wonder if the crash happened because he was upset at me. I don't know why I'm writing, but maybe it'll keep someone from making the same mistake.


A:

Sometimes we deserve to carry a burden of guilt because we’ve clearly done something wrong — and we know it. King David experienced this after he committed adultery with Bathsheba: “My bones wasted away…. My strength was sapped” (Psalm 32:3-4).

But sometimes we carry a burden of false guilt — that is, guilt we don’t deserve to have. We may think we’ve done wrong, but in reality we haven’t, at least not to the degree we think we have — especially in God’s eyes. I can’t help but wonder if this is the case with you. You don’t know what really caused the crash that killed your husband — and you never will. Yes, you wish you’d never argued with him, and that is a legitimate concern. It also is a lesson for others who might be tempted to keep conflicts brewing. But don’t carry a burden you shouldn’t be carrying.

The most important thing you can do, however, is to turn all your burdens over to God. Why keep carrying them by yourself, when God wants to carry them for you? The Bible says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall” (Psalm 55:22).

Guilt, grief, discouragement, fear of the future — whatever your burdens are, hand them over to Jesus Christ. God loves you — and your life will never be the same once you understand this.

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2 Comments

  1. Jenny says:

    She had a good heart and had started to explore more Into Christianity but was a typical young adult and I blame myself for not exposing her more to a Christian life. I am not a bad person , live a Christian life but far from perfect. I have turned more to Christ than ever before and learning everyday. I just pray she had asked for Jesus to come into her heart.

  2. Jenny says:

    I too struggled with this. My daughter age 20 was killed in a car accident on October 17, 2015. On the Monday before we had argued and she said you will regret treating me this way if something bad happens to me like happened to Sara. That was her bf that was killed a month before. I told her not to say things like that bc she would feel the same if something happened to me, she was killed 4 days later. Although, we had talked in those 4 days it was not our normal relationship. I have come to not feel guilty about that but I feel guilt bc I don’t know if I prepared her for death. As a mother did I do enough to put Jesus In her life and make her aware of sin? I struggle with that everyday. I know she believed but still had a lot to learn