By   •   June 29, 2012   •   Topics:


I admit I wasn't a very good mother, and now my children don't want anything to do with me. They didn't even call or send me a card on Mother's Day. I know I can't undo the past, but is there anything I can do to change this?


It’s hard to erase the hurts of the past—and to be honest, sometimes it simply doesn’t happen. Perhaps your letter will encourage other young mothers about to go down the same road you did to stop and reconsider where they’re headed.

I do hope you’ll do everything you can to let your children know you’re sorry for the past, and you hope they’ll forgive you for what you did (or failed to do). Don’t make excuses or blame others for your shortcomings, and don’t express bitterness because they haven’t kept in contact with you. Remember the Bible’s words: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

Instead, be honest and tell your children that you wish you had been the kind of mother they needed. You might also express the hope that they’ll learn from your bad example, and be better parents as a result. It probably will be better to put your thoughts in a letter, rather than trying to say everything in a phone call.

The most important thing you can do, however, is to turn to God and seek His forgiveness. He knows all about your failures—and yet He still loves you, and He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to die for you. Commit your life to Jesus, and then ask God to give your children a desire to follow Christ also. He can overcome even the greatest gap.

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  1. Rhonda Furia says:


  2. Unfortunate says:

    This comment is for Debbie and Beverly. My mother was a very abusive mom both physically and mentally. I am 45 years old and she still to this day fails to acknowledge that I am her child as well as my children–her grandchildren. I see how she treats my brother and my sister and their children and I cringe with envy. I’ve never had that type of attention and wish that one day she would give me half of it. If you have apologized to your children that’s a start I know I’m still waiting for an apology to this day and I’m sure on her deathbed she will apologize but I feel at that time that will be two late. Let them know you love them apologize to them and be a part of their life if at all you can. That will make all the difference.

  3. Christine Curran says:

    Thank you

  4. marty says:

    Thank you Mr Graham for that answer to this question about the mother not being a good mom, I wasn`t always a good mom either, but this letter sure touched my heart, and I also asked GOD for his forgiveness. Thank you again Bless you and your family.

  5. Karen Carter says:

    Thank you for your advice. I only wish I had good parents to raise me with love and guidance but I didn’t. I can’t explain why it took me so long to see the light. It could be that I was use to darkness and it was just easier to stay there, alone. It’s what I have been use to all my life. But I know Jesus doesn’t want me there and I know I belong with my Father, Jesus Christ. God bless you Mr Graham. You have lived a life I can only dream of living.

  6. Debbie says:

    I too was a poor mother. But Jesus has forgiven me. Now (and I have apologized in person) if I could just get my sons to forgive me. They hold grudges and their paternal family hasn’t helped matters. I was widowed at 31 and my husband did the child rearing. I was lost when he died! I remarried 13 mo. later and was widowed again! The 3rd time was not the charm!! He drove my children further away. Now Satan loves to remind me of something God has forgotten about. All I can do (and have done) is place my sons in Jesus hands and keep praying for them.

  7. debbie says:

    That article told it like it is. Im one of those moms that even though my grown kids talk and see me, I cant get passed it
    Especially when im around families that did it right.

  8. Beverly says:

    I felt for years I was a bad mother but in realty I wasn't really but I made mistakes and now do not feel the extreme guilt as I have sought foregiveness from God. But my children do not feel that way and are bitter over rmy efforts as a mother