Answers

By   •   June 1, 2004   •   Topics:

Q:

How long, in your experience, does it take to get over the death of a loved one? My wife died six months ago, and I can't even attend our church because I get so emotional. Will I ever get over her death?


A:

The memory of your wife will always be with you–but yes, in time your pain over her death will fade. It won’t happen all at once, but little by little comfort will come–with God’s help.

Few experiences in life are as painful as the loss of a loved one–especially a spouse who has been by our side for most of our life. Grief is real, and you shouldn’t feel guilty because you grieve; after all, Jesus wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus (see John 11:1-44). But when we know Christ, we know there is life beyond the grave, and some day we will be reunited with those who have entered heaven before us. Don’t lose sight of the hope we have in Christ.

What can you do? First, don’t bear your burden alone. You probably know others who are going through the same experience; why not help and encourage each other? Many churches today also have special groups for those who are grieving, and if your church doesn’t have one, perhaps you can help start one. The Bible says, “Carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2).

In addition, ask God to use you to help others in need–through your church, through volunteering in your community, or in some other way. Not only will you be an encouragement to them, but it will help you turn from your own problems and concentrate on the needs of others.

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3 Comments

  1. craig brandow says:

    I loss my wife of 45 years, 5 years ago, I remember her every day but at times I feel very sad. I have met a younger woman who I care about but the relationship is not like my wife and me. I hope I can live long enough to do the things I want for my family and leave a good legacy for them.

  2. Kathleen Dean says:

    I feel this man’s pain. My husband died o8/3 0/11; last stages of Alzheimer’s and the third bout of cancer. I truly lost him twice. He went into Hospice at home for 6-wks. It was difficult to attend our church after his death. It took me months to start going regularly again. I sincerely try to keep busy helping with Rd Cross Blood Mobile, BSA as volunteer sometimes 36 years and counting], OES Eastern Star, and always there for my family. I’ve dated only it hasn’t worked out. Can hardly wait till god weather so I can work in my flower beds and plant a garden. As the old saying goes, I can be in a crowed room and still feel so very alone. I want my husband. I want someone to hold me and love me.

  3. mary roybal says:

    My ex husband who i will always love passed away three weeks ago. I still say its not fair but he passed away of alcohol abuse. My children and i miss him very much. I feel guilty for i put a restraining order on him due to his alcohol and drug abuse. I didnt want ny children to see him in this state. This state was ninety percent out of a hundred. We cry for him much. I see him in my dreams but most are places we have not been. I hope i see him when its my turn. I feel guilty why i dont know. We did not have a chance to say I LOVE YOU to him. I want him to know we all love him. Thanks.