God knows your dilemma, and most of all He knows what is best for you and what you ought to do. That is why I urge you to commit your life to Jesus if you have never done so, and then seek God’s will for your future.
How can you discover His will for your life? First, make it a matter of prayer, asking God to guide you and make His way clear to you. Ask Him also to make you open to His will, and to have the courage to do it once He shows you. Let your prayer be like that of the psalmist: “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground” (Psalm 143:10).
Then let the Bible’s principles for living guide you. God never tells us to do anything that is contrary to His Word, but in it He tells us what kind of people He wants us to be. For example, He tells us we ought to live for Christ and for others, and not just ourselves.
In addition, ask God to help you understand the opportunities and gifts He has given you. You are a unique person; God made you that way. Seek advice from others who know you and can help you. Even if the way isn’t completely clear, God will be with you as you make decisions. The Bible says, “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:6).