I don’t know all the reasons why God allowed this to happen to you; sometimes life can be very confusing. Some day, we will understand — but in the meantime all we can do is trust our lives into His hands.
But I do know this: God knows the pain and grief you are feeling — and He has not abandoned you. He loves you with a love that is everlasting — and my prayer is that you will discover this truth in an even deeper way during these days. I often think of the prophet Jeremiah’s words as he looked out over the desolation and death of his time: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23).
Take your hurts and your doubts to the cross, and to the One who died there for you — Jesus Christ. God’s love isn’t necessarily obvious in the events of our lives — but it is obvious when we look at the cross, for there the Son of God willingly shed His blood for us and for our salvation.
Then commit your future into His care. He knows your desires, and He also knows what is best for you and your husband. Yes, this is a hard time for you — but God won’t only help you get through it, but give you hope for the future. God bless you.